Jon Hunter

The mistake I made when my dad died—and what I hope you don’t repeat.🙏🏽

December 2006. I was a regional VP at CA Technologies —building teams, flying around the west coast, fully immersed in work and growing a young family.💪🔥

My dad, Daniel Hunter, was everything to me.
A former Dominican priest. A theologian. A business man. A father who embedded in me a love for knowledge, for truth, and for people.🙏🏽

He built the spreadsheet for my first large transaction.
When I almost left CA Technologies in 1999 because a buddy got a better offer, it was my dad who reminded me:
“I’ve never heard you talk that much about money. Why don’t you inventory why you love where you work?”
He was right. Empowerment. Customers. Team. That’s why I stayed.🙏🏽

Years later, when I felt shaken leading through major dysfunction at work, it was my dad who told me:
“Just wait until they see what you can do.”❤️

But in 2006, when his health started to fail, I did what so many operators do: I stayed heads-down. I stayed in denial.☹️
I couldn’t imagine a world where my dad wasn’t right there—encouraging me, advising me, lifting me up.
And then he died.🥲

The whole world should have shaken. But it didn’t.
I powered through the funeral. My brother carried the emotional weight.
And then—I went right back to work.😩

No counseling. No reflection. No true grieving.
A few months later, Guy Di Lella our head of HR, pulled me aside:
“Hunter, how much time did you take off for your dad?”
I blinked.
“None.” 😔

That’s the trap. When you’re in “Hitman” mode, you can suppress pain with action.
You get the dopamine. The discipline. The identity.
But you bypass the healing.😔

Don’t do that.👈‼️🚨

If you’re an operator, VP, builder, or leader—here’s what I’d tell you now:
• If your parents are alive, go visit them this weekend.
• If they’re declining, don’t assume you have more time.
• If you’ve lost them recently and think you’re “fine,” assume you’re not.
• Pull out. Grieve. Process. Heal.

It’s not weakness.❤️
It’s wisdom.
And it will make you a better leader, parent, and person.

Grief delayed is not grief avoided—it’s just grief deferred.
And trust me: it will come.
It’s better to face it with people who love you and give your loved one the honor of your full presence in their passing.

I eventually made space to grieve. But it took years.
I wish I had done it right when it mattered.😇🙏🏽

If this helps just one operator stop, feel, and go be with their loved one—then this post did what I prayed it would.❤️🙏🏽

#Leadership #Grief #Operators #HunterX #HalfMonkHalfHitman #Legacy #FamilyFirst