True compassion demands action.
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Susan David, Ph.D.
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Establishing a healthy relationship with your inner imposter means acknowledging what it's telling you without choosing to believe this message is true.
You can even thank your imposter for doing its job (trying to protect you from embarrassment or failure): “I appreciate your concern, but this is important to me, so I'm going to do it regardless of what you say.“
Agility isn't about stifling thoughts of doubt or uncertainty. It's about acknowledging doubt, fear, or any other difficult emotion, and choosing to move forward with courage.
You can even thank your imposter for doing its job (trying to protect you from embarrassment or failure): “I appreciate your concern, but this is important to me, so I'm going to do it regardless of what you say.“
Agility isn't about stifling thoughts of doubt or uncertainty. It's about acknowledging doubt, fear, or any other difficult emotion, and choosing to move forward with courage.
Rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.
When we're emotionally rigid, we get hooked by feelings and behaviors that don't serve us.
When we're emotionally agile, we're flexible with our emotions in order to respond optimally to everyday situations.
We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
When we're emotionally rigid, we get hooked by feelings and behaviors that don't serve us.
When we're emotionally agile, we're flexible with our emotions in order to respond optimally to everyday situations.
We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.
Being positive in a negative situation is not leadership. It's denial.
Hope and optimism are different from (false) positivity. They are future-oriented and earned by a willingness to work hard and problem solve to create a better outcome.
Hope and optimism are different from (false) positivity. They are future-oriented and earned by a willingness to work hard and problem solve to create a better outcome.
The paradox of happiness = deliberately striving for it is incompatible with the nature of happiness itself.
Instead, figure out which parts of your life are working as well as those that aren't. This is a key aspect of Emotional Agility.
These principles are foundational to wellbeing, success in what matters to you, and a life well-lived.
Instead, figure out which parts of your life are working as well as those that aren't. This is a key aspect of Emotional Agility.
These principles are foundational to wellbeing, success in what matters to you, and a life well-lived.
Deliberately striving for happiness is fundamentally incompatible with the nature of happiness itself.
Instead, become aware of the parts of your life that are working as well as those that aren't.
This is the first step toward #EmotionalAgility.
Instead, become aware of the parts of your life that are working as well as those that aren't.
This is the first step toward #EmotionalAgility.
We frequently get caught up in narratives that are inaccurate, outdated, or simply untrue. Approach your self-stories with curiosity instead of blind acceptance.
Are you lacking in creativity, or are you feeling uninspired by the project at hand? Are you incapable of providing support to your partner or are you simply overextended at work?
Contextualizing the situation can help you step away from judgment and bring you closer to identifying a path toward change.
Are you lacking in creativity, or are you feeling uninspired by the project at hand? Are you incapable of providing support to your partner or are you simply overextended at work?
Contextualizing the situation can help you step away from judgment and bring you closer to identifying a path toward change.
Emotional agility isn't about becoming someone different. It's about honoring the person you already are. It's not about camouflaging, it's about uncovering.
What does emotional agility look like for you? What does it sound like?
What does emotional agility look like for you? What does it sound like?
When we're working on a new project or thinking about what our career could be, confusion is normal.
Yet, when we feel confused about our next steps, we can become self-critical because our culture prizes the idea that there's always a solution: option A or option B. As a result, we get stuck feeling like there should be a clear path while knowing deep in our hearts that that's not always the case.
This year I invite you to join me in celebrating those messy middles. Confusion is a core part of growth in life and work. Let's see if we can approach it with openness.
Let's meet up in the Messy Middle?
Yet, when we feel confused about our next steps, we can become self-critical because our culture prizes the idea that there's always a solution: option A or option B. As a result, we get stuck feeling like there should be a clear path while knowing deep in our hearts that that's not always the case.
This year I invite you to join me in celebrating those messy middles. Confusion is a core part of growth in life and work. Let's see if we can approach it with openness.
Let's meet up in the Messy Middle?
Our culture prizes positivity over emotional truth.
Tough emotions like sadness are not negative. They are normal.
At the heart of it, a failure to acknowledge difficult emotions through forced, false positivity, is a failure to see ourselves. An unseeing of our humanity.
Tough emotions like sadness are not negative. They are normal.
At the heart of it, a failure to acknowledge difficult emotions through forced, false positivity, is a failure to see ourselves. An unseeing of our humanity.
One word makes a big difference when it comes to talking about our emotions.
If you can shift from saying, “I am worried,” to, “I am feeling worried,” you separate yourself from your emotion. This is a beautiful, subtle reminder that you are not your emotions—they are a part of your experience, but they don’t define you.
If you can shift from saying, “I am worried,” to, “I am feeling worried,” you separate yourself from your emotion. This is a beautiful, subtle reminder that you are not your emotions—they are a part of your experience, but they don’t define you.
Many of us have that one stubborn goal we've been trying to accomplish for weeks, months—maybe even years.
Maybe it's joining the C-Suite, taking that professional development course, or improving your golf game. Goals are important. They're helpful motivational tools that can carry us to new heights. But we can also become so stuck on achieving a goal that we miss out on a variety of other things we could be doing.
Perhaps you realize that your dream of becoming an executive at your organization doesn’t align with who you want to be anymore. You discover you'd actually prefer to stay in your current position and have fewer managerial responsibilities.
The following questions can help you reevaluate your goals to make sure they're the right ones for you.
Maybe it's joining the C-Suite, taking that professional development course, or improving your golf game. Goals are important. They're helpful motivational tools that can carry us to new heights. But we can also become so stuck on achieving a goal that we miss out on a variety of other things we could be doing.
Perhaps you realize that your dream of becoming an executive at your organization doesn’t align with who you want to be anymore. You discover you'd actually prefer to stay in your current position and have fewer managerial responsibilities.
The following questions can help you reevaluate your goals to make sure they're the right ones for you.
So many of us grew up in households that left very little room for the expression of normal, human emotions.
I don't say this to place blame on our parents, or the parents who came before them. I say this to draw attention to the power that lies in our hands.
When we embrace the emotional truths of our children, we are creating change—not only for them but for many generations to come.
The next time your child is upset, follow these three steps to give them the gift of emotional agility.
I don't say this to place blame on our parents, or the parents who came before them. I say this to draw attention to the power that lies in our hands.
When we embrace the emotional truths of our children, we are creating change—not only for them but for many generations to come.
The next time your child is upset, follow these three steps to give them the gift of emotional agility.
Tough emotions are part of our contract with life.
You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort.
Watch the full TED Talk: https://lnkd.in/eY-4C3XK
You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort.
Watch the full TED Talk: https://lnkd.in/eY-4C3XK
How do you respond when you receive negative feedback at work? How about when you make a mistake, or say something that hurts someone?
Do you meet yourself with self-compassion or judgment? Understanding or resentment?
Do you meet yourself with self-compassion or judgment? Understanding or resentment?
As knowledge is commoditized in the AI economy, and workplace stress and complexity grow, the need for human skills is escalating.
We're all on a path of continuous growth, but the journey is rarely linear. Self-compassion makes space for our imperfections and failures. It allows us to take the risks necessary to thrive and grow.
You can tweak your beliefs and mindset, your habits, and your motivations.
How?
First, think of something you'd like to change: “I want to improve my networking skills.“
Next, consider what might be getting in your way: “I'm socially awkward and I lack confidence when it comes to my ability to connect with people.“
Lastly, think of a tiny tweak you can apply to the situation: “My lack of social confidence is a holdover from when I struggled to make friends in school. I no longer need to believe that, because I frequently have good conversations with coworkers. I will let go of this belief and set up a coffee meeting this week with someone I'd like to get to know.“
How?
First, think of something you'd like to change: “I want to improve my networking skills.“
Next, consider what might be getting in your way: “I'm socially awkward and I lack confidence when it comes to my ability to connect with people.“
Lastly, think of a tiny tweak you can apply to the situation: “My lack of social confidence is a holdover from when I struggled to make friends in school. I no longer need to believe that, because I frequently have good conversations with coworkers. I will let go of this belief and set up a coffee meeting this week with someone I'd like to get to know.“
Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger.
Psychologists call this amplification.
Psychologists call this amplification.
The way we’ve been working hasn’t been working.
An organization that genuinely cares about the wellbeing of its employees should not only focus on supporting individuals but also examine its systems and processes.
We cannot keep asking people to adapt to unworkable situations. Sometimes, the organization itself needs to change.
An organization that genuinely cares about the wellbeing of its employees should not only focus on supporting individuals but also examine its systems and processes.
We cannot keep asking people to adapt to unworkable situations. Sometimes, the organization itself needs to change.
As much as we want to, we cannot control every situation.
There is no value in struggling to deny or suppress feelings of anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or grief. This only makes us feel worse.
By showing up to a difficult situation and accepting it, we free ourselves to move beyond it. Acceptance is the prerequisite for positive change.
There is no value in struggling to deny or suppress feelings of anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or grief. This only makes us feel worse.
By showing up to a difficult situation and accepting it, we free ourselves to move beyond it. Acceptance is the prerequisite for positive change.
Do others' opinions about what is important or right frequently impact your choices?
When we connect to our real selves and make decisions based on what we believe to be important, rather than being led by others telling us what is right or wrong, important or cool, we have the power to face almost any circumstance in a constructive way.
Rather than being caught up in pretending or social comparison, we can stride forward with confidence and begin to live our lives without as many regrets and without as much second-guessing.
When we connect to our real selves and make decisions based on what we believe to be important, rather than being led by others telling us what is right or wrong, important or cool, we have the power to face almost any circumstance in a constructive way.
Rather than being caught up in pretending or social comparison, we can stride forward with confidence and begin to live our lives without as many regrets and without as much second-guessing.
Many of us are still living patterns and old stories that were written on our mental chalkboards when we were five years old. Ask yourself if your personal narratives are still serving you.
“I'm a natural leader.“
“I'm not creative.“
“I'm very smart.“
“I'm not worthy of affection.“
“I don't make friends easily.“
Turn your gaze inward with understanding, love, and compassion. Part of healing in the present is also about healing in the past.
“I'm a natural leader.“
“I'm not creative.“
“I'm very smart.“
“I'm not worthy of affection.“
“I don't make friends easily.“
Turn your gaze inward with understanding, love, and compassion. Part of healing in the present is also about healing in the past.
