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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

These are the best posts from Susan David, Ph.D..

48 viral posts with 90,176 likes, 4,147 comments, and 9,417 shares.
35 image posts, 0 carousel posts, 4 video posts, 9 text posts.

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Best Posts by Susan David, Ph.D. on LinkedIn

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 14, 2022 at 1:04 PM

Understand the critical difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion.

EMPATHY: Empathy requires perspective-taking: the capacity to imagine or take the perspective of another. When you are perspective-taking, even though you can't be feeling the exact same feelings as someone else, you are engaged in empathy. We can feel empathy for an animal, for a child, or for a character in a movie, even though we aren't the animal, the child, or the movie character. The hallmark of empathy is perspective taking: moving the emotional or cognitive experience that is yours, into the emotional or cognitive space of another.

COMPASSION: Is an impetus that is connected and action-oriented. However, this doesn't mean trying to “fix.“ Holding space, staying connected, active listening, and choosing to see, can all be examples of giving what is needed by the other.

Importantly, these statements are not meant to be used as a scripts. They are intended to help us cultivate an awareness of the differences, so we can best to support those around us.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 1, 2021 at 9:05 PM

Establishing a healthy relationship with your inner imposter means acknowledging what it's telling you without choosing to believe this message is true.

You can even thank your imposter for doing its job (trying to protect you from embarrassment or failure): “I appreciate your concern, but this is important to me, so I'm going to do it regardless of what you say.“

Agility isn't about stifling thoughts of doubt or uncertainty. It's about acknowledging doubt, fear, or any other difficult emotion, and choosing to move forward with courage.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

May 25, 2022 at 3:55 PM

True compassion demands action.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Feb 14, 2023 at 3:01 PM

Courage can be loud.

It might look like running your first marathon, participating in a protest, or saying yes to something unfamiliar.

But mostly, courage is a whisper: those moments every day when you do what’s right for you—lacing up your running sneakers after recovering from an injury, having a respectful disagreement about something you value, or saying no to a behavior that no longer serves you. By taking steps both big and small, we find the courage to invite values-driven actions into our lives.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:00 PM

It’s easy to jump to blame, impatience, and rigid thinking when we’re faced with uncertainty or challenge, when in reality, these moments are begging for the exact opposite. When you choose emotional agility, you are creating a life in which your reality matches your intentions.

Foster courage, compassion, and curiosity in your workplace, and watch as others open to opportunity rather than closing themselves off and shutting down.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 17, 2022 at 10:00 PM

Establishing a healthy relationship with your inner imposter means acknowledging what it's telling you without choosing to believe this message is true.

You can even thank your imposter for doing its job (trying to protect you from embarrassment or failure): “I appreciate your concern, but this is important to me, so I'm going to do it regardless of what you say.“

Agility isn't about stifling thoughts of doubt or uncertainty. It's about acknowledging doubt, fear, or any other difficult emotion, and choosing to move forward with courage.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 24, 2020 at 2:05 PM

Rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.

When we're emotionally rigid, we get hooked by feelings and behaviors that don't serve us.

When we're emotionally agile, we're flexible with our emotions in order to respond optimally to everyday situations.

We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Aug 5, 2022 at 10:00 PM

Stress happens.

You don't need to eliminate it to enjoy your career or live a fulfilling life—quite the contrary. Stress is part of the full spectrum of emotion. It is a natural response to the world around us. Rather than fighting it, we can ride the waves of it, integrating it into our response to the world.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 26, 2022 at 3:30 PM

Being positive in a negative situation is not leadership. It's denial.

Hope and optimism are different from (false) positivity. They are future-oriented and earned by a willingness to work hard and problem solve to create a better outcome.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Aug 9, 2021 at 8:04 PM

You can't control your feelings. You can control your response.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Apr 22, 2021 at 4:05 PM

Stop fighting your emotions so you can learn and grow.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 22, 2021 at 3:22 PM

We don't “get over“ grief. We learn to “walk with“ grief.

Grief changes us. It rewrites us.

And we in turn rewrite our lives with it.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Dec 1, 2020 at 2:05 PM

The paradox of happiness = deliberately striving for it is incompatible with the nature of happiness itself.

Instead, figure out which parts of your life are working as well as those that aren't. This is a key aspect of Emotional Agility.

These principles are foundational to wellbeing, success in what matters to you, and a life well-lived.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 4, 2022 at 3:03 PM

Things change. We need flexibility and agility so that we can change, too.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 25, 2022 at 11:00 PM

Emotional agility doesn't make you a perfect person overnight.

It does provide you with a set of invaluable skills that will change you, your outlook, your relationships, and your life.

Take it one step at a time.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 1, 2022 at 1:04 PM

Deliberately striving for happiness is fundamentally incompatible with the nature of happiness itself.

Instead, become aware of the parts of your life that are working as well as those that aren't.

This is the first step toward #EmotionalAgility.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 3, 2024 at 10:23 AM

At its most powerful, courage is rarely loud. Mostly, it's a whisper: those moments every day when you do what matters. ⁣

What does courage look like for you today? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 22, 2022 at 1:03 PM

We frequently get caught up in narratives that are inaccurate, outdated, or simply untrue. Approach your self-stories with curiosity instead of blind acceptance.

Are you lacking in creativity, or are you feeling uninspired by the project at hand? Are you incapable of providing support to your partner or are you simply overextended at work?

Contextualizing the situation can help you step away from judgment and bring you closer to identifying a path toward change.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 6, 2023 at 9:00 PM

The next time you’re feeling hesitant to take a risk, ask yourself, “Am I uncomfortable because this isn’t the right path for me, or am I uncomfortable because this is unfamiliar, and I’m growing?”

You might be dreading your first day in a new role at work, but that doesn’t mean you should back out—rather, it may just be a natural reaction to stepping into unfamiliar territory.

Sometimes simply acknowledging and naming our discomfort in the face of growth is enough to give us the confidence we need to keep going.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 17, 2021 at 9:05 PM

Emotional agility isn't about becoming someone different. It's about honoring the person you already are. It's not about camouflaging, it's about uncovering.

What does emotional agility look like for you? What does it sound like?

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Jan 19, 2023 at 3:01 PM

Emotional agility begins with recognizing that you are not your feelings.

When you say, “I am sad,“ your identity becomes fused with the emotion. You become this gray cloud of sadness.

Instead, when you say, “I notice that I'm feeling sad,“ you create space between yourself and the emotion. You become the sky, and the gray cloud of sadness is simply passing through.

Because. You. You are not the cloud. You are the whole damn sky! 🌅

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Jan 13, 2022 at 4:02 PM

When we're working on a new project or thinking about what our career could be, confusion is normal.

Yet, when we feel confused about our next steps, we can become self-critical because our culture prizes the idea that there's always a solution: option A or option B. As a result, we get stuck feeling like there should be a clear path while knowing deep in our hearts that that's not always the case.

This year I invite you to join me in celebrating those messy middles. Confusion is a core part of growth in life and work. Let's see if we can approach it with openness.

Let's meet up in the Messy Middle?

Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 13, 2022 at 12:40 PM

Emotional skills are the foundation of who we are and the future we want to build, in our homes, workplaces and communities.

They should be part of every curriculum.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Apr 4, 2022 at 3:11 PM

Our culture prizes positivity over emotional truth.

Tough emotions like sadness are not negative. They are normal.

At the heart of it, a failure to acknowledge difficult emotions through forced, false positivity, is a failure to see ourselves. An unseeing of our humanity.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Feb 2, 2022 at 2:30 PM

Our emotions are part of our wondrous and complicated human experience, and it's about time we started living into that. How will you choose to be agile today?

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 8, 2023 at 9:00 PM

One word makes a big difference when it comes to talking about our emotions.

If you can shift from saying, “I am worried,” to, “I am feeling worried,” you separate yourself from your emotion. This is a beautiful, subtle reminder that you are not your emotions—they are a part of your experience, but they don’t define you.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 12, 2023 at 1:07 PM

Many of us have that one stubborn goal we've been trying to accomplish for weeks, months—maybe even years.

Maybe it's joining the C-Suite, taking that professional development course, or improving your golf game. Goals are important. They're helpful motivational tools that can carry us to new heights. But we can also become so stuck on achieving a goal that we miss out on a variety of other things we could be doing.

Perhaps you realize that your dream of becoming an executive at your organization doesn’t align with who you want to be anymore. You discover you'd actually prefer to stay in your current position and have fewer managerial responsibilities.

The following questions can help you reevaluate your goals to make sure they're the right ones for you.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Dec 20, 2024 at 12:01 PM

At its core, forced positivity is about our discomfort with emotions.

More specifically, it’s about our discomfort with tough emotions, like sadness, anxiety, and anger. When we label normal human emotions as “negative,” we’re more likely to suppress or ignore them when they arise.

This is especially relevant in the workplace, where emotions like anger and sadness are traditionally seen as taboo. But these emotions are real, and they point to areas in our organizations where we’re experiencing challenges. When we ignore our difficult emotions at work, it robs us of the opportunity to learn, create change, and grow.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 19, 2021 at 9:05 PM

So many of us grew up in households that left very little room for the expression of normal, human emotions.

I don't say this to place blame on our parents, or the parents who came before them. I say this to draw attention to the power that lies in our hands.

When we embrace the emotional truths of our children, we are creating change—not only for them but for many generations to come.

The next time your child is upset, follow these three steps to give them the gift of emotional agility.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Feb 13, 2022 at 7:00 PM

Who are you? Who do you want to be?

It's not always easy to know the answer to this question, and sometimes it takes time (and some trial and error) to figure it out. But once you do, it will be a whole lot easier to act in accordance with your values, and your life will become more purposeful and satisfying.

Notice what activities are most meaningful to you. When do you feel most alive? To contrast, what kinds of tasks lead to disengagement?

These kinds of questions can also help you get closer to the career path that is right for you.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 2, 2021 at 11:49 PM

Tough emotions are part of our contract with life.

You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort.

Watch the full TED Talk: https://lnkd.in/eY-4C3XK

Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Apr 17, 2021 at 9:05 PM

How do you respond when you receive negative feedback at work? How about when you make a mistake, or say something that hurts someone?

Do you meet yourself with self-compassion or judgment? Understanding or resentment?

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Jan 12, 2018 at 10:58 PM

The Dalai Lama says:

“My wish is that, one day, formal education will pay attention to the education of the heart, teaching love, compassion, justice, forgiveness, mindfulness, tolerance and peace. This education is necessary, from kindergarten to secondary schools and universities. I mean social, emotional and ethical learning. We need a worldwide initiative for educating heart and mind in this modern age.“

Susan David, Ph.D.

Mar 21, 2024 at 4:02 PM

As knowledge is commoditized in the AI economy, and workplace stress and complexity grow, the need for human skills is escalating.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Sep 13, 2023 at 4:26 PM

Get in the habit of examining your actions and identifying the values they’re connected to.

Choose behaviors based on your core values rather than indulging the whims of your thoughts, emotions, and personal narratives.

When you create the space to reflect before making a choice, it allows you to be sensitive to context and to decide on actions that truly serve you.

So next time you’re facing a decision, big or small, take a moment to consider which options would bring you closer to your values, and which would take you further away.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jul 28, 2022 at 12:40 PM

Choose courage.

What risks have you taken this week?

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Nov 11, 2022 at 11:00 PM

We're all on a path of continuous growth, but the journey is rarely linear. Self-compassion makes space for our imperfections and failures. It allows us to take the risks necessary to thrive and grow.

Post image by Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 11, 2021 at 10:00 PM

You can tweak your beliefs and mindset, your habits, and your motivations.

How?

First, think of something you'd like to change: “I want to improve my networking skills.“

Next, consider what might be getting in your way: “I'm socially awkward and I lack confidence when it comes to my ability to connect with people.“

Lastly, think of a tiny tweak you can apply to the situation: “My lack of social confidence is a holdover from when I struggled to make friends in school. I no longer need to believe that, because I frequently have good conversations with coworkers. I will let go of this belief and set up a coffee meeting this week with someone I'd like to get to know.“

Post image by Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Dec 11, 2021 at 1:40 PM

You don't need to “just be positive.“

Give yourself permission to feel your “negative“ emotions too.

The radical acceptance of all of our emotions—even the messy, difficult ones—is the cornerstone to resilience, thriving, and true, authentic happiness.

Susan David, Ph.D.

May 30, 2021 at 6:00 PM

Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger.

Psychologists call this amplification.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Dec 21, 2023 at 8:12 PM

The way we’ve been working hasn’t been working.

An organization that genuinely cares about the wellbeing of its employees should not only focus on supporting individuals but also examine its systems and processes.

We cannot keep asking people to adapt to unworkable situations. Sometimes, the organization itself needs to change.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Oct 4, 2021 at 1:06 PM

As much as we want to, we cannot control every situation.

There is no value in struggling to deny or suppress feelings of anxiety, anger, hopelessness, or grief. This only makes us feel worse.

By showing up to a difficult situation and accepting it, we free ourselves to move beyond it. Acceptance is the prerequisite for positive change.

Post image by Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Oct 14, 2021 at 9:05 PM

How do you defuse tension at work?

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Feb 2, 2021 at 9:04 PM

Emotions are data, not directives.

Susan David, Ph.D.

May 23, 2021 at 6:00 PM

Find the balance between challenge and competence, so that you're neither complacent nor overwhelmed.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Susan David, Ph.D.

Jun 15, 2023 at 9:00 PM

Do others' opinions about what is important or right frequently impact your choices?

When we connect to our real selves and make decisions based on what we believe to be important, rather than being led by others telling us what is right or wrong, important or cool, we have the power to face almost any circumstance in a constructive way.

Rather than being caught up in pretending or social comparison, we can stride forward with confidence and begin to live our lives without as many regrets and without as much second-guessing.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

May 8, 2021 at 9:05 PM

Many of us are still living patterns and old stories that were written on our mental chalkboards when we were five years old. Ask yourself if your personal narratives are still serving you.

“I'm a natural leader.“
“I'm not creative.“
“I'm very smart.“
“I'm not worthy of affection.“
“I don't make friends easily.“

Turn your gaze inward with understanding, love, and compassion. Part of healing in the present is also about healing in the past.

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Susan David, Ph.D.

Jan 23, 2021 at 6:44 PM

Compassion gives us the freedom to fail.

Use this fill-in-the-blank to face your next challenge with compassion:

“I'm struggling with ____, but I know I have the capacity to change and grow. Next time I'll try ____.“

Post image by Susan David, Ph.D.

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