Viren Sood

HR: We will offer you 20 lakh, 50% fixed, 50% performance bonus

Candidate: But my fixed was 12 lakh in previous job

HR: Don’t you have confidence that you will perform?

Candidate: I do, but

HR: Then this will be better, right? You will earn more by the end of the year

Candidate: Yeah, it will be better. But I’m just thinking how I would pay my EMI, which I’ll be falling short of. Could you loan me 20k every month? I’ll return the money to you when I get my bonus by the end of the year

HR:

Candidate:

HR: Ok, we will make it 75% fixed and 25% performance

#negotiation #humour

Top 3 ‘Moye Moye’ victims in the country right now:

3. Students who bought 10 Day MBA from Vivek Bindra

2. Mumbai Indians who made Hardik Pandya captain, & then he got injured

1. Byjus, as they bought WhiteHat Jr for $300 million, but registered a loss of around $500 million from them in FY22

#MoyeMoye #humour

Employee: The salary hike was just 2%. Here’s my resignation

Boss: If there is one thing I have learnt in 5 years of working here, it’s loyalty

Employee: I got an opportunity in another company at 40% hike

Boss:

Employee:

Boss: If there is one thing I learnt in 36 years of my life, it's 'never say no to an opportunity'. Here, take my CV & let me know if there is an opportunity in your new company

#loyalty #humour

Varun Dhawan has joined LinkedIn. Top 3 reasons why:

3.⁠ ⁠He thinks LinkedIn is another Instagram, thanks to LinkedIn Influencers

2.⁠ ⁠He wants to recruit new actors & he heard corporate managers are best actors

1.⁠ ⁠He is still searching for the HR who said 'I will get back to you' 20 years ago, for the one job he applied to, before becoming an actor

#VarunDhawan #LinkedIn #Humour

Swiggy started in 2014

Swiggy became unicorn in 2018

Swiggy IPO'ed in 2024. Yet,

Rohan, a content marketer with 1 year experience, is still 'Building Swiggy' acc to his LinkedIn bio!

'Ab kya bhai Chaand pe delivery kara ke chodega?'

#Swiggy #LinkedIn #bios #humour

Gujarat, a dry state since 1960, allows alcohol for the 1st time in its history!

Recently, in its financial hub, GIFT city, it has allowed liquor (for employees) bcz

It wants to make GIFT the best financial centre of the world & even Govt knows

That employees won't work so hard every day, unless they have something to forget their manager's face every night

#Gujarat #DryState #alcohol #Employees #managers #humour

A man entered Bangalore airport on a fake ticket to drop off female friend

On being arrested, he said that he wanted to spend time with her

If he would have simply said that it took him 5 hrs to reach the airport &

His mental health was badly affected by the traffic, so wanted to rest a bit, the authorities would have believed him & let him go

#BangaloreTraffic #humour

A man slapped an Indigo pilot in a Delhi Goa flight bcz it was delayed by 10 hrs

Many people are talking about this & debating whether it was right or not

In my opinion this is outrageous & I feel very scared

For any HR who would have interviewed this guy & might have not got back to him for 6 months

#Indigo #HR #humour

Saurabh Netravalkar is the true representation of Indian talent

That could not make it in India because of issues like reservation & politics

So had to migrate to the US, & eventually

Made it big both as a corporate employee & a Cricketer

#SaurabhNetravalkar

Diwali gifts above Rs 5000 are taxable under Income Tax

But cash bonuses of any value are taxable

I think this is where I win. This is my redemption

With 200 Rs worth of Soan Papdi as Diwali Gift, I don't need to pay any tax! In your face people getting expensive gifts from their employers. Suck it losers!

#CriesInACorner #DiwaliGifts #SoanPapdi #humour

India or Bharat? Not sure what it should be called. Here's what I'm sure about:

1. Off-sites on weekends should not be called Employee Benefit Programs

2. A company or team should not be called a Family

3. 2% Salary Hike should not be called an Appraisal

#IndiaBharatControversy #Corporate #humour

A techie in Bangalore went missing & was found in a mall in Noida

He said that his wife curtails his freedom, and doesnt even let him go for tea

So he ran away. I have a solution for him. He should join Cognizant

With a 2.52 LPA package, after rent and clothes, he wouldn't be left with any money for food, let alone tea. Problem Solved!

#Bangalore #Techie #IT #humour

Vijay Mallya has moved the Bangalore High Court against the banks

Because they recovered 16000 Crore from him while he only owed 6200 Crore

IMO, this is fair. 6200 Crore is principal amount, around 4000 Crore is interest

& remaining 6000 Crore for the constant teasing of the banks by wishing everyone festivals on bank holidays

#VijayMallya #Banks #humour

Today is an important day. It is the day when:

1. Lord Ram returns to Ayodhaya

2. People celebrate the victory of good over evil

3. HRs all across India get done with 90% of the work defined in their job profile #RangoliMakingCompetition

#Diwali #HappyDiwali #humour

I got up to offer my seat to an uncle
in Delhi metro but before he could take it

A young girl quickly sat on my empty seat
I was like 'What the hell?'

The uncle, in mid 50s had just entered
It was noisy in the metro

So I got up to signal him to take it
He moved towards it from the gate

The seat had been vacant for just 5 sec
When the young girl pounced at it

Me: Please vacate, this is not your seat
She: It was empty so I took it

Me: Yes, I left it for uncle
I pointed towards him behind me

She ignored, before I could say anything else
A random guy: Why are you disturbing the lady?

Uncle nudged me from behind,
told me to ignore & let it go

This incident haunted me for a long time
Did I do or say something wrong?

Many times youngsters, boys & girls
are seated in metro, while elderly stand

The preference for a seat should be for elders,
injured or specially abled

A youngster can stand, irrespective of
whether it is a girl or a boy

Empathy should not be restricted to the workplace
Show it there too where no one is watching

Thoughts? Have you ever experienced the above?

#empathy

Taylor Swift to perform in Gautam Adani's son's wedding in India

Taylor Swift is one of the biggest singers of the world right now

However, I'm not impressed at all as this is similar to what Ambanis did

I'll be impressed when Adani does something new like making Hindenburg CEO, Nathan Anderson, dance at his son's wedding, & we all know he can

#Adani #Hindenburg #humour

#manager #LeaveApproval #FriendshipDay #humour

Many unbelievable things are happening in the Ambani Pre-Wedding:

3. The three Khans dancing together for the 1st time

2. Bill Gates drinking roadside tea and making Reels about it

1. Finance Influencers not talking about 1000 Crore spent & financial freedom

#AmbaniPreWedding #FinanceInfluencers #Humour

3 days back, Microsoft laid off another 1000 employees

Cisco is in the process of 5% workforce reduction affecting 4100 employees

Dunzo is doing its 3rd round of layoffs in last 7 months

The hue & cry of layoffs has died down, but they are still happening

In such times, income protection to safeguard from layoffs can be very useful

& Jobsurance is providing exactly that, a 3 month salary cover & placement assistance. Check out the plans in comments

#layoffs #Jobsurance #ad