Brené Brown

When I find myself in tough conversations,
when I am being held accountable,
when I am called to unlearn, relearn, or just learn —
This is my mantra. It’s been a game-changer.
Less armor. More learning.
#DaretoLead

This book kicked my ass.

Which is why I can’t wait to share it with you!

I learned so much about the language of human emotion and experience. And after searching for 20+ years, this research led me to the missing piece that I needed to develop a model on connection.

“Atlas of the Heart” is a book about finding our way back to ourselves and one another.

When fear, anxiety, and uncertainty leave us feeling adrift and untethered in our lives, our first instinct is to look out into the distance to find the nearest shore.

But the shore isn’t something outside of us — the solid ground we’re seeking is within us. It’s not always easy to find, but it’s there.

This book explores the language and tools we need to access a universe of new choices and second chances — a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that cultivates meaningful connection.

To all of the mapmakers and the travelers — this one is for you!
BB

https://lnkd.in/edNiw_Uh

Surviving this crisis will take a shift in mindset, and that’s tougher than we think - especially when we’re afraid.

Fear and anxiety can drive us to become very self-focused. This global pandemic is a real case of “getting sick together” or “staying well together.” Our choices affect everyone around us. There is no such thing as “individual risk” or “individual wellness.”

This is the ultimate reminder that we are inextricably connected to each other. Turning away from collective action right now - as tempting as it is - will only generate more pain.

Owning and embracing our global interconnectedness (from a safe distance) and thinking about others as we make choices is, ironically, our only path to safety for ourselves and the people we love.

We can all get really shitty really fast when we’re afraid. I get it. I’m using deep breaths along with my personal mantra: ” Try to be scared without being scary.” Feel free to borrow both - they can help.

It’s also really normal for everyone to be on our nerves: The people who aren’t following the rules, the 10-second hand washers, etc. I get that too. TRUST ME.

But, like it or not, we just can’t give up on people. We’re all we have.

Stay awkward, brave, and kind. Love each other. Spread calm.

xo,
BB

Only when diverse perspectives are included, respected, and valued can we start to get a full picture of the world: who we serve, what they need, and how to successfully meet people where they are.

Daring leaders fight for the inclusion of all people, opinions, and perspectives because that makes us all better and stronger. That means having the courage to acknowledge our own privilege, and staying open to learning about our biases and blind spots. It's also listening, centering, and honoring stories that reflect experiences that are different than our own.

Courage is listening, learning, unlearning, knowing when to lead, and knowing when to let others lead.

We can't call ourselves free or brave when we keep running from the truth.

Tonight on 60 Minutes .
I wish my grandmother was here to see it. She loved 60 Minutes! When that clock started ticking we knew we had to be quiet and still. The only thing that would have made her prouder was a guest appearance on HeeHaw or The Price is Right.

I’ve been working on new research and a new book for three years. Now it’s time to write it. DAMMIT.

I don’t want to go right now. It can feel like the abyss. I’m a binge writer. Once I start, I fall completely in. The world stops. I often find myself missing my life and my people and the rhythm of everyday life. And, I love my life, my people, and the predictability of everyday life.

Weird things happen. That word I spent an hour looking for at 8pm will come to me at 4am, so I jump out of bed and write until 7am. Then I sleep until 9am, and I’ve missed everyone at breakfast. I hear them watching baseball in the other room, but I’m on a roll coding data so I listen for the score behind the door.

But this is who I am. I can’t write for three hours a day. I can research everyday, but now it’s writing time. This is how I’ve done it for as long as I’ve been writing. I have to find the current and slip in. And get carried away. Far away.

Once I’m down the hole, or in the current, or navigating the abyss (pick your metaphor), it’s wonderful. And I love it. And I know how lucky I am to get to do what I love. And, mercifully, I write fast. The upside to this style is that the research takes years but the writing takes a couple of months.

It’s time to fall in, and this is the scariest part for me. But I’m going. Because I can’t wait to share this new work with y’all.



I’m going to need some help with this book, so if y’all are ready and willing - I’ll be posting some questions for you on social.

Take your mark. Get set. Go.

Episode two of our six-part Summer Sister Series on “The Gifts of Imperfection,“ with my sisters, Ashley and Barrett, dropped today.

In this episode, we start with Guidepost #1: Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think and move into Guidepost #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism. Practicing authenticity — and yes, it is a daily practice — is really connected to boundary work, so we admit the individual fears we each experience when setting boundaries.

We also talk about perfectionism as a process addiction, and how our imperfections are not inadequacies, but instead they’re reminders that we’re all in this together. spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

I define a leader as anyone who holds themselves responsible for finding the potential in people and processes, and has the courage to develop that potential. It has nothing to do with titles or corner offices. The toughest part of daring leadership is building a courageous culture where armor is neither required nor rewarded. #RehumanizeWork

The Latin root of the word “integrate” is “integrare,” which means “to make whole.”

I talk a lot about the importance of integration in my work—why we need to bring all the parts of ourselves to everything we do. Especially the parts that we orphan when we’re afraid of judgment, criticism, and not belonging.

This two-part conversation with America Ferrera is a master class on integration. Our power is in our wholeness.

https://spoti.fi/3xZa6qy

Thank y’all so much for the early support of “Atlas.” It means the world to me.

I really can’t wait for us to talk about this book. It’s turned my world upside down in the best way possible—although there have been more than a few “dammit” moments.

I want to record the audiobook myself, so the new release date is now February 14, 2022.

Sorry for the delay, but I’ll do it with my whole heart. Pinky swear.

https://lnkd.in/eDhqQQsU

We’re at the halfway mark of our six-episode Summer Sister Series on “The Gifts of Imperfection,” and this week Ashley, Barrett, and I talk about how scary it can be to lean into joy and how many people “live disappointed” rather than risk “feeling disappointed.”

Constantly planning and preparing for pain doesn’t make the hurt go away when hard things happen. Squandering joy just means we have fewer stored-up moments of goodness to fall back on when we need them.

Practicing gratitude allows us to lean into the moment rather than be derailed by our fear that joy is only temporary. spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

Have you ever read something and thought, “I hate this AND it strikes me as 100% accurate“?
My flashlight and I thank Dr. Amishi Jha — and UGH — so hard!
You can listen to our convo here: bit.ly/3YXiaHE

I love how Charles Duhigg defines productivity: “Getting things done without sacrificing everything we care about along the way.“

We can mindlessly go at our to-do list, but are we doing the right things? Are we thinking about what's important and why, or are we just chasing down that satisfying check mark? ✅ spoti.fi/DareToLead

Our first podcast series kicks off with an interview with acclaimed psychotherapist Esther Perel. The topic for this first series is “Living Beyond Human Scale: The Possibilities, the Costs, and the Role of Community.” This series will be unique in that it crosses over between Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead, with discussions ranging from mental health and social media to readying a workforce (and a bunch of anxious humans) for AI.

Also, rather than dropping two podcasts every week, I’ll be recording short series of 3-4 thematic podcasts that will drop several times over the course of the year. You can now listen to the new podcasts and our entire library anywhere you listen to podcasts — we’re no longer exclusive to one platform.

I’d love to know what you think about the convo and any other questions you have around staying connected while living beyond human scale. Podcast comments are open on brenebrown.com ❤️

https://lnkd.in/gpC3iMdJ

My thoughts on power and leadership, and a conversation on empathy, unity, and courage with Vice President Joe Biden, the 2020 Democratic Presidential Nominee. Listen at https://bit.ly/3m9eNH2

1. I'm still thinking about this learning from Pippa Grange on the Dare to Lead podcast. It really grabbed me.

2. Heck, yes! This is a pickle ball court. #obsessed

3. Reposting with a win/when correction - thanks y’all.

4. Happy weekend! Y’all stay awkward, brave and kind! ❤️

A conversation with Austin Channing Brown on love, faith, anti-racism, tapping out, and staying in (even when you want to run).

Austin is a writer, producer, activist, and a good friend. This episode feels like the best kinda church to me. She will move you. Austin is also taking over my Instagram today - check it out! #ShareTheMicNow

Listen to the full episode here: https://bit.ly/3fctNAx

If you like vulnerable, honest, and messy, this might be the episode for you.
Thank you Tim Ferriss and Dax Shepard for keeping it real and choosing courage over comfort.
http://bit.ly/3r2VbYm

“I am cringe, but I am free.”

This is the most awkward, brave, and kind conversation with Pixar filmmaker and badass creator Domee Shi.

https://bit.ly/37hBzLg

Samin Nosrat is such a beautiful person. This conversation on the Unlocking Us podcast is so honest and, for me, deeply healing in its vulnerability. Spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

I'm trying to focus on fun things in the future. Like football season.
It's not really working but I can tell you how everyone performed at the combine. #whateverworks

This week I’m talking to the amazing Brandi Carlile about her new book, Broken Horses. We talk about everything from the politics of middle school lunch tables, and the pursuit of complicated faith, to the tyranny of fitted sheets.

This was our first time to meet, but it felt like talking to a forever friend. ❤️
Spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

Our three-part series with Drs. John and Julie Gottman The Gottman Institute—clinicians, researchers, and authors of the new book “The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy”—continues!

As they write in their actionable guide to relationship-building:

“We’ve studied more than 3,000 couples in the Love Lab, following some for as long as 20 years, and we’ve studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. And we’ve discovered that there are universal factors that make or break a relationship, that predict whether a couple will stay together happily, or not.

First, a couple needs to stay curious about each other. We all grow and change over time. Successful couples know this and take the time to make and expand their ‘love maps’—their knowledge of each other’s inner worlds.

Second, the couple needs to share fondness and admiration. That means, among other things, seeing and appreciating the good things your partner does, finding and focusing on the things you admire about them, and expressing these things out loud or with touch.

And third, the couple turns toward each other instead of turning away. That means they make and respond to what we call ‘bids for connection.’ Bids can range from little things, like calling each other’s names, to big things, like asking for deeper needs to be met. Successful couples are savvy enough to notice when their partner is making a bid, and they drop what they’re doing, if necessary, to engage.”

Listen to the Gottmans talk about “The Love Prescription” on #UnlockingUs.

https://bit.ly/3SJmowL

Part 2 of my AMA answers. The questions did NOT get easier.

Today we unpack tools for raising shame resilient children and some of my favorite TV series and films that do an amazing job capturing human emotion and experience. SPOILER: “I May Destroy You“ by Michaela Coel and “Normal People“ by Sally Rooney are on my list!

Listen to the full episode here: https://bit.ly/2ZulQla

In this episode of #UnlockingUs, I talk to Judd Apatow, who has directed, produced, and written many of the biggest comedy films and hit TV shows of the last two decades - including one of my all time favorite movies, “The Big Sick.“

We look at what's funny, why it's funny, and why laughter creates connection. We also talk about his new film, “The King of Staten Island“ and the thin line between humor and grief. What does it take to tell the stories of our lives in a way that allows us to recognize ourselves and our shared humanity?

Listen to the full episode here: https://bit.ly/2NA1z7a

An “Unlocking Us” Vox Media podcast conversation with Vice President Kamala Harris on courageous leadership and winning in 2024 drops tomorrow morning!

And, banana seat bike crew: It’s time to ride! To the polls, then the White House!

Congratulations to Jason Sudeikis, Brendan Hunt, and the entire Ted Lasso crew on the Peabody win!

As the self-appointed president of the TLFC (Ted Lasso Fan Club), it was a blast to talk to the co-creators on the Unlocking Us podcast. We chatted about the show’s interesting origin story, writers’ room inspirations, and why intention is critical to the creative process.

It was a fun conversation about a show that is unapologetically awkward, brave, and kind. And believe me, July 23 is already marked on my calendar: Can’t wait for the season two premiere!

I love Mira Jacob’s book, “Good Talk.” I finished it in one day, and I still pick it up as a reminder and reference book.

This quote from her High Five interview is exactly what the book delivers:

“I wanted to talk about this very unglamorous, hard-to-define thing, which was how beautiful and hilarious and terrible and heartbreaking everyday conversations can be with the people you love.”

Somehow the hard-to-define messiness of everyday conversations feels better when you know you’re not alone. Thank you, Mira.

📸 by Tanzila Ahmed

https://lnkd.in/gn-MdRdW

You asked how you could help during the winter storm and I pointed you to the Episcopal Relief Fund - a trusted nonprofit on the ground here in Texas.

I just found out that you raised over $500,000 for Texans. You fed, clothed, and sheltered people who were scared, cold, hungry, and some who were literally freezing to death.

My heart is full. Blessings.

One more time! The enthusiasm was too much for us to handle, but we've fixed it!

It took us several years to develop and validate an assessment that measures where you are in relation to the 10 guideposts in “The Gifts of Imperfection.“

What are your strengths?
Where are your opportunities for growth?

This week, we debuted the free Wholehearted Inventory to celebrate the launch of the 10th Anniversary hardback edition. You can take the assessment here: https://bit.ly/3bLuuAv

I love seeing all the different ways y’all are preparing for The Gifts Sisters Summer Series. We’ve heard about IRL book clubs (remember those), Zoom book clubs, potluck dinners, sisters getting together, and even some couples doing the work in groups. I ❤️ it.

Surgeon General’s Warning: This is about as real as it gets. Equal amounts laughing, HARD conversations, surprising revelations, and cussing. And some singing. But I file that under painful and/or laughing.

If this sounds like your kinda conversation — join us! And don’t forget to take the Wholehearted Inventory before you start. It’s free and on https://lnkd.in/egEv8GZ.

Squeeze in, the Summer Sister Series starts today!

It's on. My sisters, Ashley and Barrett, are with me on the Unlocking Us podcast today and for the next six weeks as we work through The Gifts of Imperfection--and our current states of mind. We kept forgetting we were recording, so it really is like you're sitting around the kitchen table with us. We sing, we laugh, we laugh at each other about the singing, and we open up for some real talk about the past and the present.

The series is going to run from June 23rd to July 28th. Today we start with the Introduction and go over the 10 Guideposts. If you're following along, you can use the 10th anniversary edition of The Gifts, or you can use your original book. Both of them are perfect for the ride.

Pro Tip: Before you listen to the first podcast, I would take the Wholehearted Inventory. It's free and you can find it on https://lnkd.in/eepN8ei. It's really interesting. And it gives you kind of an assessment on all the guideposts, where your strengths are, and, as we say in social work, where you have “opportunities for improvement.“ Love those “opportunities.“ We start off the episode by talking very candidly about our personal Wholehearted Inventory scores. Whoa. Tough. And joyful. And real.

So pull up a chair, snuggle in, and let's spend some time together this summer with The Gifts. spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

My conversation with Celeste Ng is the first of two episodes on the amazing book and Hulu series, Little Fires Everywhere!

Celeste and I talked about the writing process, the stories that we tell, and the stories that define us.

We also covered how our hometowns shape us, how parenting is a shame minefield, and how we all have the power to mourn moments even while we’re in them. I loved this episode as a reader, as a writer and as an observer of what it means to be human.

Listen to the full episode here: https://bit.ly/2XDIIg9

If you’d like to receive our monthly newsletter, you can sign up here. Our July edition will be in your inbox tomorrow. https://lnkd.in/eY-T8hc