Dr Mine Conkbayir MBE

Cultivating emotional intelligence is not a given.

Having positive experiences in having our emotions and behaviours co-regulated in infancy and childhood will provide a robust foundation in helping us to reACT less and instead, meet our emotions with greater curiosity.

As with anything worth doing, it takes ongoing practice to use our emotions as information to help guide us - as opposed to trying to control, minimise or change our emotions.

Emotional agility enables us to step back and make decisions based on our principles/values and goals, instead of reacting on impulse (I.e being able to self-regulate).

Take a moment to reflect on your strengths and areas for development. I'll start - my tricky ones are 'gentle acceptance' and 'connection'.

Over to you!

Trauma is not only psychological. It is stored in the body.

Organs, tissues, skin, muscles and endocrine glands store trauma. These have peptide receptors that let them access and retain emotional information = your memories are in your brain and body.

We may not be conscious that our symptoms are due to trauma, so we cannot solely rely on talking therapy to process the trauma - we need to get physical!

Strategies to also try:
EMDR
Deep breathing
Yoga
Tapping
Exercise/dance
Walking
Grounding techniques
Crying
Cold exposure
Screaming into a pillow
Pushing against a wall.

Exhausting to read, isn't it?

Imagine “living“ this way, day in, day out.

In the UK, over 8 million people experience an anxiety condition at any one time (Mental Health UK), with less than 50% of people with generalised anxiety “disorder“ accessing treatment.

To the uninformed, we appear to be “high maintenance“, “a pain“ and neurotic. We don't mean to be. We acknowledge how much of a drain our panic-stricken behaviours are on those around us.

Genetics, ongoing (toxic) stress, previous traumas, medication and physical health issues can all trigger anxiety and while a little anxiety can be useful, left unchecked, it can ruin lives.

If you suffer from anxiety, there is always something you can do to gain some control (after all, this is a key part of the problem with anxiety - feeling a complete lack of control).

✅ Get physical! swim, jog, walk, whatever floats your boat. The activity boosts those feel good hormones as well as confidence and energy

✅ Talk about your feelings to health professional or counsellor

✅ Try different grounding techniques

✅ Practice deep breathing

✅ Journal

✅ Take social media breaks

✅ Practice sleep hygiene

✅ Celebrate “small“ wins!