Eli Albrecht

I know you’re going to blow up my Inbox over this post, but it must be said.

In a week, I will be joining my esteemed colleagues at our firm retreat.

In anticipation of the constant pressure to drink alcohol at almost all professional events, I want to preempt your kind offers for a beer or a shot: I don’t drink alcohol at work or public events.

While I used to nurse a cup of seltzer with lime to pretend I’m drinking alcohol, I’m now forthright about my abstinence.

Although, I’ve been known to hold a glass of red wine in one hand and my wife’s hand in the other, long ago I found it inappropriate to drink at professional or public events.

I have seen people whom I respect act disrespectfully. I’ve heard people say things that are offensive, racist, and hurtful that they later regret. I have seen people touch others in ways that made those people feel uncomfortable long after the alcohol wore off.

As an M&A lawyer, I have read far too many employment complaints and lawsuits that involve alcohol at professional events.

I've seen weddings ruined and families divided by drinking.

Although I won’t join you in drinking, I will gladly join you in a meaningful conversation about the culture of big law, faith, fatherhood, or another topic that will leave us with new perspectives and drive continued growth.

Let’s try to connect as genuine humans and accept others with their inhibitions and social awkwardness without having to poison our brains to loosen up.

As always, I welcome your opinions in the comments whether you agree or disagree.

Shabbat Shalom to all.

#law #work #alcohol #biglaw

Like others in BigLaw M&A, I heard about the layoffs at a BigLaw firm yesterday.

This morning my phone rang. It was my friend and before I picked up, I knew why he was calling. I let him talk, but he was breaking down.

He kept repeating, “for me, this was never just a job”.

Like me, my friend gave everything to his firm; time with family, friends, and his physical health.

Over the past 5 years he consistently billed over 2,200 hours. While M&A was busy, he pulled all-nighters to get deals done. It was never about the money and always about supporting his firm and team.

Over the past 5 years I’ve watched his hair thin and his relationships fray. All the while his supervisors told him that if he keeps his head down, one day, he will make partner.

He kept his head down.

Tonight, on Passover we will read about a society 3300 years ago that disregarded the inherent value in humans and viewed them only as means of production.

I recognize the need to be profitable. I am an unabashed Capitalist. I support working and making money, and love living in a country where we can work hard and succeed. However, we must never forget that humans have value that must be recognized.

That is the lesson of Passover that I will teach my children tonight.

Happy Passover and happy Easter to all who celebrate.

#law #layoffs #LawDad

Last week, a young lawyer asked if I enjoyed my parental leave?

I have had 3 babies and I never took paternity leave.

I was offered paternity leave. But, as a young M&A lawyer, I heard the comments from supervisors. The partner who said he worked on his laptop in the maternity ward. Another partner said, he worked through every family vacation, and another said, that if I don’t work on Shabbat I shouldn’t be an M&A lawyer.

So, each time when our babies were born I told my wife I don't want to lose my path to partnership.

As a young M&A lawyer in a Biglaw firm, I was laser-focused on the partner path. I far exceeded my hours requirements. I accepted every deal I was offered and attended every happy hour. I slept in a sleeping bag in my office and pulled an average of at least one all-nighter a week. When my babies were up at night, I strapped them to me and worked through the night.

I didn't want to lose my path to partnership

What I didn't know is I would lose so much more. I lost out on that new baby smell, the baths in the sink, those first cracks of a smile, and holding a hand so tiny the fingernails are barely visible.

When a BigLaw M&A lawyer reached out last week hesitant to take paternity leave, I told him, think about what you will lose.

One day, there will be no diapers, no bounce toys, and no midnight feedings. One day we watch our kids turn their backs and bike away.

As ambitious Moms and Dads, we are committed to our careers and succeeding. I work hard and I love working hard, but it can't come at the cost of being engaged moms and dads.

If you are a mom or dad who needs to hear this, don’t make the same mistake I did.

Shabbat Shalom

#LawDad #law #Family #Dad

I wear a necktie every day. I rarely see others wearing ties. My law firm does not require it and most U.S. lawyers do not wear ties outside of court.

But I have a reason.

A tie impacts how I think, feel, and perform at my job. It's not for others, it is for me.

Anyone who has put on a uniform (military veteran or otherwise) knows that clothes profoundly impact our mindset. When I wake up in the morning, button up my shirt, and tighten a tie around my neck I feel like a lawyer and am ready to focus.

Pretending to be a lawyer is 50% of the job.

This is especially true on days that I feel sluggish or down. On down days, putting on a crisp shirt and tie does me magic.

Aside from being a Yekke (German-Jew known for attention to detail, punctuality, and formality), I believe that dressing formally helps me think and feel sharper.

This is why even if the entire world is wearing polos (and no one at the G7 Summit), I'll be wearing a tie.

If you're not feeling yourself or need a little boost tomorrow, try putting on something a bit more formal and see how it makes you feel.

Photo credit to the exceedingly talented, Shuran Huang 舒然 (She/Her).

#Lawdad #law #lawyer #lawfirm #biglaw #military #mindset

In the Jewish faith, Prayer is central, but I have always had a mixed relationship with Prayer. Honestly, I still struggle with Prayer, but now I pray three times a day and it is critical to my mental health and professional balance.

As a child, I hated praying. I was forced to sit in a synagogue for hours when I wanted to be outside playing baseball. God was an abstract concept. I didn’t really buy it and I wasn’t scared of the fire or the brimstone.

As I entered my teen years and connected with the horrors that my family experienced in Germany during the Holocaust (Shoah). I privately rejected prayer and a God that would allow that to happen – I adopted the belief that safety came from strength and not prayer.

Over the past ten years, I have grown to embrace Prayer.

Observant (Orthodox) Jews pray 3 times a day.

I recently spoke to my Rabbi about the meaning of daily Jewish prayer.

Daily prayers are for us, not for God, and the benefits to me are immense.

It brings me back to my equilibrium three times a day and helps me to live a more healthy, balanced, and growth-oriented life.

Morning prayers help me start the day off right. Foremost, I embrace my thankfulness that I woke up healthy and my appreciation for the life I have surrounded by my beautiful family. Morning prayers help me refocus on my daily task as a Jew to find meaning and live in an ethical way. I think about the upcoming day and the right way to navigate anticipated challenges.

Afternoon prayers come at a critical time. The day gets busy. M&A is a high-pressure environment and can be frustrating. This pressure can be external and sometimes I feel I come up short. My afternoon prayers remind me that my value and self-worth are independent of the work I do. I work to put mistakes and successes in perspective.

Finally, evening prayers help me to reflect on the day and bring my heart rate down before having dinner with the family and putting the kids to bed. It helps me to leave work at my desk while I engage with my family.

It is easy to get carried away with the intensity of the daily grind and pursuit of our professional goals. Jewish prayer helps me keep life in perspective, stay focused on my professional and personal goals, and stay balanced.

Like all Jewish practices, Jews do not own Daily Prayer. If you pray, you likely already know the benefits.

If not, try your own form of prayer throughout the day and you will quickly see the mental health benefits.

#Jewish #prayer #mentalhealth #law #balance #lawdad #dailyprayer

My generation grew up hearing stories from our grandparents of being pulled from their homes. We saw images of babies executed, and the tattoo on Bubbie’s forearm. We saw pictures of burnt children and heard our grandparents tell us about hiding, terrified. We met the people who survived while their entire family was murdered.

I sat next to my grandmother when she told me how German students marched through her high school chanting, “Death to the Jews.” I heard the survivors say, they came for every Jew, left-wing, right-wing, religious, and secular. Only Jews see the differences, the Nazis saw us all as Jews.

We each saw ourselves hiding under a barn, standing by a locker as the students marched by. We law awake at night trying to escape the Nazis.

Every Jew of my generation looked around and thought, I wonder who would hide me if they came for me again?

Our entire generation grew up looking over our shoulders.

Then we said, Never Again. Never Again meant F-35s and Iron Domes. It meant drones and submarines and for a moment, we thought Israel would give us the safety to be Jewish without looking over our shoulder.

When I landed in Israel 3 weeks ago my son said to me, now I do not have to worry about wearing my Kipah in public! I told him, 80% of people are Jewish here. You’re safe here.

Then, two weeks ago we saw Jews killed in their cradle, kids tortured in front of their parents, and the remains of burnt Jewish children. We saw left-wing peace activists killed next to right-wing neighbors. I saw my son’s face when he ran to the bomb shelter.

Each of us asked ourselves, is there nowhere safe for a Jew in this world?

That is why your Jewish colleagues are unable to focus on work. That is why when crowds march through the streets and college campuses chanting, “Gas the Jews”, I see so many of my colleagues posting that they are not okay.

That is why a 37% increase in hate crimes against Jews in 2022 hits us so hard. I have friends who have started wearing baseball caps in public and those who are defiantly wearing Kipahs to work. I know hundreds of people who have gone to Israel to volunteer.

When I was thirteen, I saw myself in my grandmother’s high school in Germany and now I see my 5-year-old daughter in the picture of the girl kidnapped and taken to Gaza.

When Jews see the massacre in the South of Israel, the marches in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Australia, Professors who call the murder of Jews, exhilarating, and the Jewish woman punched in the NY subway yesterday, we ask ourselves, once again, Is there any place in this world that is safe for the Jew?

I am now home from Israel with my family, but I am not okay.

Shabat Shalom.

For years I pursued symbols of success. I served in the most prestigious special forces unit, pursued a fancy undergraduate degree, and top law school. Then, joined one of the best law firms in the world. There, I worked on deals covered by the Wall Street Journal.

My whole life I have been trying to put a prestigious name on my vest. I have sacrificed my health and friendships sprinting to the next milestone. I have missed birthday parties, my baby’s first steps, kindergarten graduations, and was at the office when my family needed me most.

I have come home and seen my children look at me like a stranger while they clung to their mom. I have been on conference calls while my baby said her first words.

I did all this to have a my name on a downtown office, a title on my LinkedIn profile, and a nice car parked in the office garage.

I focused on meaningless symbols while compromising real success. Real success is the smile my wife gives me when she knows I know her. Real success is coaching my son’s wrestling match, and seeing my daughter in her school play. Real success is stopping everything to run out of my home office and sing Frozen karaoke with my daughter.

For me, real success is also financial freedom and challenging M&A deals. It’s drafting a perfect LOI, and strategizing on how to make a seller comfortable. And, honestly, I love to work hard and I love what I do.

I wrote these words a year ago while I was struggling with whether to leave BigLaw.

This past week marks almost ten months since leaving BigLaw. This past week I have been with my family for Passover in the Bahamas and I can say with certainly, I have achieved the real success I was seeking. I rode waterslides with my son, took walks on the beach with my wife, and danced with my daughter at a concert. I have worked as well, of course, but the work was with inspiring clients and people who value me and my time.

For me, real success only came when I realized how meaningless prestigious symbols are.

Passover is a perfect time to realize that freedom means much more than big pyramids.

#lawdad