Last week, an employee came to me after reporting her manager for harassment - trusting HR to keep it confidential.
Instead, HR passed the complaint to the manager's boss, who told the manager everything.
By week's end, her manager had turned her words into a threat - and her job into a target.
Here's what being a former corporate counsel taught me about HR's quietest, biggest lie:
When HR says “This conversation is confidential,“ they mean: “Everything you say will be documented, distributed, and potentially used against you.”
I've sat in those meetings. I've seen the reports. I've watched the aftermath.
The truth? Your “confidential“ conversation gets shared with:
1. Your direct manager
2. Their manager
3. Legal department
4. Executive team
5. Anyone deemed “relevant“ to the investigation
But it gets worse.
Remember those “performance issues“ that suddenly appeared after your complaint?
That's because HR took your vulnerable moments and reframed them as evidence:
“She admitted feeling anxious“ becomes “Unable to handle workplace pressure“
“He mentioned being distracted“ turns into “Lack of focus and productivity“
“They expressed concerns about the team“ transforms to “Not a cultural fit“
I've watched this playbook destroy careers for years.
Now I'm helping employees protect themselves.
Three rules I want you to remember:
1. Document everything BEFORE going to HR
2. Assume every word will be shared
3. Get things in writing - after any verbal conversation, send a follow-up: “As discussed today…“
Protect yourself first.
The company already has an entire department doing the same.
Follow for more insider insights on protecting your workplace rights.
#EmploymentAttorney
#CaliforniaEmploymentLaw
#EmployeeRights
Instead, HR passed the complaint to the manager's boss, who told the manager everything.
By week's end, her manager had turned her words into a threat - and her job into a target.
Here's what being a former corporate counsel taught me about HR's quietest, biggest lie:
When HR says “This conversation is confidential,“ they mean: “Everything you say will be documented, distributed, and potentially used against you.”
I've sat in those meetings. I've seen the reports. I've watched the aftermath.
The truth? Your “confidential“ conversation gets shared with:
1. Your direct manager
2. Their manager
3. Legal department
4. Executive team
5. Anyone deemed “relevant“ to the investigation
But it gets worse.
Remember those “performance issues“ that suddenly appeared after your complaint?
That's because HR took your vulnerable moments and reframed them as evidence:
“She admitted feeling anxious“ becomes “Unable to handle workplace pressure“
“He mentioned being distracted“ turns into “Lack of focus and productivity“
“They expressed concerns about the team“ transforms to “Not a cultural fit“
I've watched this playbook destroy careers for years.
Now I'm helping employees protect themselves.
Three rules I want you to remember:
1. Document everything BEFORE going to HR
2. Assume every word will be shared
3. Get things in writing - after any verbal conversation, send a follow-up: “As discussed today…“
Protect yourself first.
The company already has an entire department doing the same.
Follow for more insider insights on protecting your workplace rights.
#EmploymentAttorney
#CaliforniaEmploymentLaw
#EmployeeRights
