Dave Harland

How to charge more for the same thing:

• Sausage on toast: £3.00

• Sage and thyme Lincolnshire sausages on toasted sourdough: £5.95

• Three award-winning Lincolnshire sausages made from the finest local lean pork steak, atop two thick slices of lightly toasted organic sourdough: £8

Want your stuff to sound more appealing?

Give me a bell.

Is your digital face in dire need of an update?

Mine was, so I did something about it. Here's my EXCLUSIVE strategy to updating your profile picture, including the 7 key areas that need to change.

#Copywriting #PersonalBranding #NoItsNotAnImpostor

When an icon from your childhood unexpectedly lands in your DMs, it's difficult to not get a bit giddy with nostalgia.

But something wasn't quite right about this particular soap veteran / singing sensation.

#ConfuseTheScammers #FelineFlinging #WolfFromGladiators

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When you're unexpectedly fired from your job at the local retail park for inadvertently endangering the lives of shoppers, it's difficult to bounce back.

Luckily for me, Julia landed in my DMs with an investment opportunity at just the right time.

#ConfuseTheScammers #TheGreatChickenEscape #CarrotMountains

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You've used them. I've used them. New tech brands are using more and more of them all the time.

They're the words that need roundhouse-kicking across the chops, gaffer-taping inside a wheelie bin and throwing off a North Sea ferry.

#Copywriting #Marketing #ElevateThisYaLittleShatbots

Pay the writer.

📢 “What do we want?“

🗣 “To sound more human and approachable!“

📢 “When do we want it?“

🗣 “When it's been signed off by senior management, IT, sales, legal, compliance, the cleaners and George who does the bins!“

#Copywriting #Marketing #MustSeeWhatGeorgeThinks

When the mesmerising Mary waltzed into my life, I genuinely thought she was going to be lucky number seven.

If only I hadn't scared her off with my unconventional needs.

#ConfuseTheScammers #MilkMines #PigletsTail

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Want more scammer stories, wordy weirdness and general messing about? Get my Friday email, The Word >>> https://bit.ly/3PIB78U

In recent months, I’ve found that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. So last week, I joined the 2.30am rise club!
 
I have to say, THANKS for having me 🙏
 
I was in the 3am club for a while, but given my busy morning routine, I felt rushed if I didn’t get to the gym for 4.30am!
 
My wife says it’s the middle of the night. And it also means I now have to be asleep by 6.30pm the previous evening... but so what?!

The only things I miss out on by going to bed so early are...
 
❌ Evening meditation
❌ 5-a-side with the lads
❌ Phonecalls with my mum
❌ Dinner with my family
❌ Band practice with my nephew
❌ Visits to my sick grandad
❌ The One Show
 
Can you believe I used to be a 6am guy? I was missing 3.5 hours of productivity. Now, by that time I have:
 
✅ Read half a book
✅ Done 45 minutes of yogacycle
✅ Attended the team’s 11am meeting in Tokyo
✅ Done appraisals with the guys in Tokyo
✅ Had a Zoom breakfast with the Tokyo office (their evening)
✅ Prepped family dinner which I sadly won't get to enjoy
✅ Recorded an episode of my podcast “From Witching Hour to Pitching Hour“
✅ Written a chapter of my forthcoming autobiography: “Wakey wakey you lazy unsuccessful bastard“
 
Find the action!

#Productivity #HustleCulture #HaventSpokenToMyWifeSinceJanuary

Pro freelancing tip No.376...

Never tell a client that you'll have a piece of work with them by noon. Instead, tell them you'll have it over by lunch time. Then, when they chase you at 7pm asking where the work is, simply tell them that you haven't had your lunch yet.

#FreelancingTips #BusinessGenius #ButtiesAtMidnight

“Posting motivational quotes is lazy content, especially when most of them weren't even said by the person named.“

- Shakira

#WednesdayWisdom #Linkedinspiration #HipsDontLie

Four years ago today, I went freelance after leaving my job of ten years.

I'd been doing bits and bobs on the side, but knew I could earn more on my tod. So I asked for a big pay rise, just to be cheeky. They said no.

Pretty happy though. I now earn way more than I used to. And even though I do more hours, it doesn't feel like it. I can't remember a day ever dragging.

The best bit's the freedom. Freedom to say no to boring stuff. Freedom to say to myself at 2.30pm on a Tuesday: “Log off mate. Go home. You've earned it.“ And freedom to be myself. Like never before.

When you’re employed, there's a line you can't cross. You've just gotta sit there and laugh at your boss’s shit jokes despite wanting to cheese grate your face.

It can be scary, with no work guaranteed. But that compels you to find it. You try out new stuff, meet new people and leave the old 9-5 you behind.

If somebody had've told me four years ago that I’d now be a bestselling author, drive a Maserati, and own a 5-bedroom house, I would've told them to fuck off.

I mean, none of those things have happened yet but I'd have still sworn in their face.

Oh btw, there's no off switch. I had an idea in the shower last week and had to record a voice note like Alan Partridge.

Aha!

#freelancing