Liz Fosslien

Learning what doesn’t work or what you don’t want also helps you move closer to a fulfilling, personally meaningful situation. 💖

We often applaud grit, but it can be just as valuable to know when to quit.

If you’ve tried and tried and find that your work environment still makes you feel awful day in and day out, it might be time to move on.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you weak or ungrateful or someone who “couldn’t stand the heat.” Sacrificing your health and potentially your self-worth should not be the price you have to pay to participate.

A tip if you're looking for a new role: reflect on why you’re unhappy in your current job, and what you need to feel better in your next one. A clear sense of what matters most will make it easier for you to confidently identify your right next step.

#LIcreatoraccelerator

When we feel overwhelmed, we tend to focus on what we still need to accomplish—and forget to give ourselves credit for all the progress we've made.

When I'm working towards a lofty goal, there's almost always a point in the process when I think to myself, “I can't do this.“

In those moments, I've learned to take a deep breath and remind myself that I *am* doing it. I might need to rest, but I don't need to give up.

When the world feels heavy, you may need more rest than usual. That's okay.

A long, successful career is not build on constant exertion. It's the result of pushing forward with great effort, but then pausing to step back, reassess, and recharge.

Remember: Your wellbeing is the foundation for everything else in your life. If you’re completely wiped out, you won’t be able to do meaningful work, let alone enjoy the journey.

What are you currently doing to take care of yourself and those around you?

My dad is on hospice. Between juggling caregiving, parenting, and working, I realized I had to hit pause on some things—including LinkedIn.

The hard part of pausing is that the world keeps going at full speed. That can be anxiety-inducing and lonely, even when stepping back is the right call.

A few reminders that helped me:

⏸️ You’re not quitting, you’re taking a break. You can usually pick up what you needed to put down.

🌊 Let go of rigid rules. Today, posting here feels nice. Give yourself grace, don't force yourself to abide by a strict set of “break“ guidelines.

🌱 Your mental health is the foundation for everything else in your life. If you take on too much, you’ll end up not being able to do much at all.

I’d love to hear how you’ve navigated taking a break.

It's been a year.

When everything feels up in the air, you can become so focused on figuring out the future that you forget to look back.

Take a moment to give yourself credit for all that you've accomplished over the past few months. And make sure to include what you learned.

Even if you feel like you had to start over, you probably know things now that you didn't before. In other words, you're starting over with valuable experience.

What did you achieve or learn this year that you're especially proud of?

Every once in a while, and especially on days when I feel stuck or dejected, I take a moment to pause and think of everything I have now that my 10- or 20- or even 30-year old self would find cool. I usually come up with a decently long list, which helps me remember all the progress I've made.

I've also found this to be a useful way to check in with my core values: if I have a harder time coming up with something my younger selves would be excited about, it tends to be a sign I need to make a change or better take care of myself.

Feedback doesn’t always feel like a gift! \n\nWhile it can be painful to hear what you could do differently, you need to know what’s not working in order to learn and grow (and get promoted).\n\nThree tips I've found helpful when it comes to receiving feedback:\n\n✅ Use the words “what one thing” instead of the word “any.” If I ask “Do you have any feedback on how my presentation went?” the other person can easily default to saying no. If I instead say, “What one thing could I improve about my presentation?” I'm much more likely to get specific and actionable advice.\n\n✅ Keep a smile file. I save praise and nice comments to a folder that I revisit when I get a piece of negative feedback. This helps me remember that there are many things I do well, and that it’s ok if I need to work a bit harder in one area.\n\n✅ Write down feedback and come back to it later. In the moment, it's easy to get defensive or try to rationalize constructive criticism away. Coming back to my notes when I’m not as emotional helps me see the value in the advice I’ve received.\n\n(Important note: Feedback can absolutely be biased, inaccurate, and unfair. If it seems seriously flawed or wrong, you are allowed to toss it out.)

Often, it's the unexpected that helps us discover who we are—and who we want to become.

Here are a few ways to stay open to learning experiences.

🔭 Choose curiosity over control. Instead of putting pressure on yourself to have all the answers right away or to get back on track, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?“ or “Where could this take me?“

✍️ Remind yourself that you are “a person learning to ____.“ It's okay to feel overwhelmed when things shift. Give yourself grace, and remind yourself that you are capable of growing through the experience.

🌱 Embrace the word “yet.“ You may be taking a detour, but that doesn't mean you'll never get to your intended destination.

While twists and turns can feel challenging, they can also teach us valuable lessons. What has an unexpected change taught you?

We tend to measure our level of success by our job title and salary.

But the magic moments you’ll look back on and be most proud of later in life usually have very little to do with either.

My favorite magic moment story comes from Maurice Sendak, who wrote and illustrated the book Where the Wild Things Are. Once Sendak received a letter with a charming little drawing on it from a boy named Jim.

In return, Sendak drew a Wild Thing on a card and sent it to the boy. A few weeks later, he received a letter from Jim’s mother that said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” “That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received,” Sendak recalled. “He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”

So when you evaluate where you are or where you’re headed, make sure that you’re not just thinking of titles and salaries. How you spend your time, whether or not you like what you’re doing, your health, if you’re creating something that a little kid might one day love so much that they eat it, those are better measures of success.

(Repost, but an eternally useful reminder ☺️)

In her book Radical Candor, author Kim Scott writes that she used to see herself as an even-keeled manager who could put on a good poker face during tough times.

And then one morning, a member of her team came up to her and said, “I know what kind of day I’m going to have by the kind of mood you’re in when you walk in the door.”

“Everybody notices what kind of mood the boss is in,“ he continued. “We have to. It’s adaptive.”

As a leader, what you do and say has an outsize impact on your team. The best leaders ensure that their actions—and bad days—don't create emotional roller coasters for everyone around them.

Here are a few tips:

1. Address your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. If you’re frustrated or upset, try saying something like, “It's been a tough morning, but it has nothing to do with you.” You don’t have to go into more detail, but acknowledging your feelings helps you avoid creating unnecessary anxiety among your reports.

2. Emotionally proofread your emails. Make sure you don't send, “Let's talk tomorrow,“ when you mean, “Your draft looks good. I have a couple comments, so let's find some time to chat through them tomorrow.“ The first version is unnecessarily panic-inducing.

3. Figure yourself out. The best leaders are able to hit a pause button when they become emotional. Instead of immediately acting, ask yourself, “What exactly am I feeling? Why? What is the need behind this emotion?” This helps you formulate a response, rather than lead with a knee-jerk reaction.

To create belonging for others, make sure you spell and pronounce their names correctly.

It's hard to form a connection with another person if you get their name wrong every time. Worse, you might end up excluding them simply because you're trying to avoid an uncomfortable moment.

For our book No Hard Feelings, Mollie and I spoke with a manager at Teach For America who told us she noticed that when teachers didn't know how to pronounce a student's name, they were less likely to call on that student. She now starts teacher trainings by emphasizing the importance of learning every student's name on the first day of class.