Madison Butler 🏳️‍🌈🦄

Don't you dare use an MLK quote on IG today while simultaneously upholding the systems he fought against.

You don't get to be anti-Black lives matter 364 days a year and then quote MLK on day 365.

We see you.
We see you when you try to use MLK to defend racism.
We see you when you use MLK to disrespect Malcolm X.
We see you when you use MLK quotes to fit your needs.

Reminder:
MLK was on the side of Black people, period.

Before you use the MLK vs Malcolm X argument about how Black folx should approach justice- remember, America shot them both.

Bonus Tip:
Black Lives Matter every damn day, not just on MLK day and not just in February.

That's the tea.

#blacklivesmatter #blackexcellence #blackgirlmagic #diveristyandinclusion #protectblackwomen #iaintsorry #dobetter #thatsthetea

Today is Trans Day of Visibility.

in 2021, 375 Trans people were killed in 2021.
96% of those deaths were of trans women and 58% were sex workers

Due to many hate crimes going unreported, we must view this data as the tip of the iceberg.

47 of those deaths were US based and mostly of Black and POC trans women.

22 Black Trans/ Non conforming people have been killed in the US in 2020. At this rate, 2020 will be the most deadly year for trans people in the US.

Trans people deserve to survive.

Trans women are women.
Trans men are men.
Trans kids deserve to grow up.
People's pronouns are their pronouns.
People's identities are valid.

Everyone deserves safety.
Everyone deserves to be able to exist without fear.

If you have a problem with the way someone else identifies, take that up with yourself. Do not expect others to adjust how they exist to meet you where you are comfortable.

Your expectation for people to change, to shrink, or to hide themselves is violence.

When you look away from the people who make you uncomfortable, you miss out on the most beautiful people.

There is beauty in being yourself.
Trans people existing does not take away from our world, it enhances it.

People do not need to look cis-het in order to be worthy of employment, respect or safety.
 
Cis men and women were not erased because other people exist.

If your feminism isn't intersectional, I don't want it.
When I talk about women, trans women are always included.

Trans rights are human rights.
Being a TERF is not a vibe.
Everyone's identity is valid.
Your opinion on how people should exist is null.
 
I promise none of us want to hear about your religion, your high school level knowledge of biology, or your misinformed judgements.
 
Identities are not opinions.
Pronouns are not “preferred“, they are just people's pronouns.
They/Them pronouns are grammatically correct.
 
Instead of giving people a lecture on the science you googled, just use their damn correct pronouns.
 
Why be transphobic when you could just be quiet?


#transdayofvisibility #thatsthetea #dobetter

You know what the best part of working remotely is?

We get to just be.
We get to exist exactly as we are without having to change anything about ourselves.

We don’t have to worry about being too queer” or “too old”.
We are just humans working together to solve problems and do our jobs.

My dog has not passed judgement a single time.
My dog has not commented on my hair, my loud laugh or my lunch choices.

So why as human’s can we not do the same?

Being remote doesn’t have me feeling anxious, it has me feeling real.

I get to show up exactly how I want to every day without fear of the general public being offended by blue hair, tattoos, or the occasional swear word.

Crisis can create change, and not all change is bad.

We have created change.
Remote work may be a product of the pandemic, but it is not going anywhere.

Remote work is here to stay.
If your organization refuses to adapt out of the need to micromanage or save commercial real estate, you will be left behind.

There are many reasons people don’t want to return to offices-
- Commute
- Less Microaggressions
- Anxiety
- Code-Switching
- Less time with family
- Dress codes
- Having to live in a specific city regardless of cost
- No Naps
- No pets
- Less balance
- Accesibility
- Lower productivity
- We're still in a pandemic, regardless of politics.

The list goes on, remote work is necessary for many and allows many to be better at what they do because they no longer have to code-switch 8 hours a day.

If you care about DEI, remote work and its benefits must be considered, especially if you have been remote for 2+ years and are now suddenly expecting “norma“ to return.

There is no normal.
DEI is about providing work environments that work for your people, not prioritizing capitalism and bad managers.

As always, thrilled to partner with Hirect U.S. on creating better hiring decisions, dismantling the way we “thought“ about hiring previously and tailoring the candidate experience. Hirect U.S. makes hiring remote talent easy, and makes finding your next remote job a breeze.

In a world that is always changing, I hope that we choose positive change. I hope we choose kindness, acceptance and empathy, for each other but more importantly for ourselves.

I am learning to be kinder to myself.
I've learned that I am not defined by the way others treat me, including my organization,

I’ve learned to accept and love the person I am. The curly hair, the loud laugh, the ability to flip tables? Yeah, I dig that about myself, so it's okay when other people don't.

We were not put on earth to make everyone like us, we just have to like ourselves..

I hope you choose to love whoever you are too. Be the person your dog, cat or houseplant thinks you are.

I hope you find a company that embraces you fully, your needs and the ways in which you are most productive.

Looking for remote talent or a new remote role? Link comments!

#ThatsTheTea #DoBetter #RemoteWork

Turns out a lot of people waited until 2020 to care about Black people.

So if you're new here, now is the time to listen, not speak over us.

Stop telling us how we should act.
Stop telling us what we should be mad about, talk about and how we should do.

Do not police Black emotions.
Allow people to feel their feelings. It's healthy.
Understand that there is privilege in the way you are allowed to react to things, and use that privilege to help amplify Black experiences.

“People are going to think you're 'the angry Black woman.“
Yeah, I mean- I am angry, Black and a woman. Surprise.

Society has taught us that Black women must smile wide, giggle and straighten our hair to be taken seriously. We must speak softly, be gentle, be polite.

I'm here to tell you it's BS and by policing our emotions you feed that narrative, so stop doing it.

Bonus Tip: Stop harassing people online and then being mad when they're not polite in response. Seriously, I'm not the one.

That's the tea.

#BlackLivesMatter #BlackGirlMagic #BlackExcellence #IsaidWhatIsaid #DoBetter #DEI #DiversityAndInclusion

I know your newsfeeds have gone back to normal, but change has not happened. This was not enough.

One month of social activism will not dismantle 400 years of physical, emotional and mental oppression.

Also, it’s been over 130 days and Breonna Taylor’s killers are still waking up and having coffee with their families, they are still living normal lives. They murdered a Black woman and nothing has changed for them.

I don’t want a black square, I want her murderers arrested.

I don’t want a banner on your website, I want Black women to be protected.

I don’t want a hashtag, I want to live.

I want consequences for the people who kill us.
Equality isn’t enough.
Equity isn’t enough.
We deserve to be protected.
We demand justice.

That’s the tea.

#blacklivesmatter #blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dei #diversityandinclusion #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea

Please stop disguising your racism as patriotism.

You can love your country and still recognize that change needs to happen, and it needs to happen now.

That’s the tea.

#diversityandinclusion #dei #blackgirlmagic #diversityintech #pocintech #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #dobetter

PSA:

Not respecting and mocking someone’s pronouns doesn’t make you funny or edgy, it makes you an asshole.

Why be transphobic when you could be quiet?

That’s the tea.

#blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #blacktranslivesmatter #dei #diversityandinclusion

They aren't people's preferred pronouns, they are just their pronouns.

Using preferred in front of it implies that there is some choice in the matter.

Pronouns aren't up for debate.
Identities aren't up for debate.

I am admittedly not the warm and fuzzy type.

However, today calls for some warm and fuzzies.
My partner came out this week as non-binary, and will go forward using the pronouns they/them.

I am so incredibly proud of how strong, determined and absolutely fierce Reese Byrne (They/Them) is. They have always been this way but it warms my typically icy heart to watch them bloom into the person they were meant to be.

We should all feel whole in our own bodies.
We should all feel welcomed to be ourselves.
People who are 'different' do not need to change, society needs to change, our hearts need to change.

Our idea of 'normal' needs to change.
We all deserve to exist in our own skin without shame, guilt or fear.

Radical self love is a form of resistance.

Bonus tip: I may have heard there's a queer podcast coming from us in January 2021. Stay tuned.

#thatsthetea #isaidwhatisaid #blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #blacklivesmatter #dobetter #dei #diversityandinclusion #iaintsorry #blacktranslivesmatter

requiring doctors notes in order for people to use sick time is ableist, elitist and harmful.

pass it on.

I always have the receipts.

As a Black woman, I feel compelled to keep every receipt, document everything I do, preserve every paper trail. I delete nothing, I throw nothing away.

Why?
Because I know I will always be asked to prove myself, regardless of the scenario.

When Black women talk about the racism, homophobia or other abuses we deal with, people demand to see the receipts.

Society doesn't believe Black women.
Society doesn't believe our lived experiences.
Society will always trust the abuser before the abused.
Society doesn't trust our skillsets
Society doesn't believe we are capable of greatness.
Society continues to make us jump through hoops to prove our validity.


Normalize believing Black women.
Normalize protecting Black women.
Pass it on.

#blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #blacklivesmatter #diversityandinclusion #dei #protectblackwomen #iaintsorry

Earlier this week, I had someone tell me that I would be more successful if I wasn't “out“. Ultimately this person told me being Black was hard enough, I shouldn't be gay too.

This rhetoric is harmful, & can be deadly.

Queer folx should not have to live in fear of who they are.
Queer folx should never question if their identity will harm their career.

I'm super jazzed to be on the January cover for The Unleashed Voice, a magazine centered on the Black LGBTQ community.

If my own journey has taught me anything, it's that I am committed to ensuring that people know that they can show up.

My mission is to ensure people know that you don't have to fit in to a box in order to be successful.

Regardless of what society wants I show up every day, queer and Black AF and i want y'all to show up too, as whoever you are.

The secret sauce to being successful is no longer going to be being white, straight and cis.

However, sometimes you have to build something better, build something bigger, build something louder, so that's what I'm doing. Stay tuned.

Corporate spaces were never intended for those of us who don't fit in boxes, so it's time to dismantle the box.

link in comments.


#LGBTQ #BlackLivesMatter #ThatsTheTea #BuildingBetter #BlackGirlMagic #DEI #DiversityAndInclusion

Being able to be silent about politics is privilege.

Vote- our lives depend on it.

As a Black woman,
the next few months will be full of violence, vitriol and hate directed at us, our capabilities and our lives.

Protect yourself, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Protect your heart.
Protect your boundaries.

Hot take:

It is okay to cut people off who do not value you.

It is okay to burn bridges with people who uphold systems who harm you.

It is okay to walk away from those who insist that they love you yet hold beliefs that put you in danger.

It is okay to end friendships, relationships, partnerships when the other party doesn't prioritize your safety over their comfort.

Let those bridges burn, let that light guide you to those who will support you.

It is okay to be exist loudly in your whole identity and step into your power.

It is okay to take up space and show up in the world.

You are worthy of taking up space.
If your space in the world makes others uncomfy, that is their mess to unpack.

Prioritize your happiness, your safety and your love and walk away from those who refuse to see you.

I intend to live out loud, love out loud and take my space and you should too.




#blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #diversityandinclusion #dei #lgbtq #protectblackwomen

Reminder:

I’m not going to argue the validity of anyone’s existence on this platform.

I’m not going to argue the validity of my life.
My Blackness is not up for debate.
My queerness is not up for debate.
My partners are not up for debate.
My life is not up for debate.
I am not going to argue about why your religion should dictate anyone’s existence.

People’s identities are not topics we can debate on.

How people love is not up for debate.

Pronouns are not up for debate.

I am just going to donate to human rights campaigns instead.

I recently posted about transphobia and homophobia and the post received over 800k views.

The comments are riddled with hate. I won’t return that hate but I will make donations in the names of those who went out of their way to hurt people.

For every homophobic comment I’ll be donating to The Trevor Project and for every transphobic comment I will be donating to National Center for Transgender Equality.


Bonus tip: if your religion requires you to attempt to shame people for just existing online I suggest rereading that book you claim to love and investing in therapist.


#dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #diversityandinclusion #dei #blackgirlmagic #blacklivesmatter #lgbtq #protecttranskids #iaintsorry

Calling out racism, homophobia, transphobia and hate is not an attack. It is accountability.

It is the protection of marginalized groups.
If you feel attacked, I encourage you to unpack why.

Black Lives still Matter.
That's the post.

#BlackLivesMatter #blackexcellence #blackgirlmagic #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #dei #diversityandinclusion #lgbtq #thatsthetea #iaintsorry #protectblackwomen #queeraf

Just a reminder,
It's still not acceptable to be a racist, homophobe or xenophobe--regardless of what you read online.

Your racism disguised as patriotism is still just racism with a nationalist bow.

Fun Fact:

Just because you don't want people to talk about race related issues on Linkedin, doesn't mean it shouldn't be on Linkedin.

It just means you're uncomfortable
Do not police Black content.


That's the tea.

#dei #diversityandinclusion #blackgirlmagic #pocintech #isaidwhatisaid #dobetter #humanatwork #blacklivesmatter #thatsthetea

I know it's been a minute since I reminded y'all, but--
fire racists.
fire homophobes.
fire transphobes.
fire xenophobes.
fire the people in your orgs who cause harm.

That's it, that's the post.

When the system doesn't work for everyone, you have to rebuild it.

This system was never meant for us, so we're dismantling it.

We are so excited to launch our virtual queer community Triple B Community and podcast ByeByeBinary

The future is non-binary and representation matters.
We wanted a space to talk about life as queer folx, and not the queerness the media portrays. We wanted a space to safely talk about pleasure, love, life, pain, the highs, the lows and all of the things that make us who we are.

Our goal is to create conversations around dismantling heteronormativity and the societal barriers we face as queer people.

Our mission is to create the community centered on the acceptance we wished we had from our families, friends and society.

No censorship, no taboos. no fetishization- just queer realness, safety and radical inclusion.

We’re done letting heteronormativity ruin the party.
Come join us. 🌈

Find us on social:
Instagram + Twitter: BinaryBye
Facebook: Bye Bye Binary

Website + Teaser link in comments.
Bonus: I swear in the teaser, I'm not sorry.

#ByeByeBinary #QueerAF #DEI #DiversityandInclusion #RadicalInclusion #ThatsTheTea

These next fews weeks will be a good indicator of what company's truly value and care for their people.

Empower your people to work from home, provide them the means to work from home, give them the opportunity to keep themselves and their families healthy.

If you can't manage these basic human actions--
expect turnover.

The ball is in your court- show up for your people.

That's the tea.

#pocintech #dei #diversityandinclusion #workfromhome #remotework #coronavirus #thatsthetea

Hot tip:

Stop attempting to invalidate the lived experiences of Black people because they are dissimilar to your own.

Instead of gaslighting someone into believing their feelings aren’t valid, lead with empathy.

Listen to understand rather than respond.

Instead of demanding emotional labor of marginalized people, use google, it’s free.

You do not get to determine the lived experiences of others.

Just because you woke up safe in your bed this morning doesn’t make Breonna Taylor’s murder go away.

Just because you have survived a police interaction doesn’t bring Sandra Bland back.

Just because you can jog through your neighborhood without a worry doesn’t justify Amaud Arbery’s murder.

Normalize believing Black people when they share their lived experiences with systemic racism

If you can drive cross country without worrying about where to stop or if you’ll get pulled over, or if you’ll make it home- understand, that is a privilege.

If you can exist without fear, period, that’s privilege.

#blacklivesmatter #blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dobetter #dei #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #protectblackwomen #lgbtq #diversityandinclusion

You cannot pay for emotional labor in exposure.

Exposure does not pay the bills.

Stop thinking that promoting us is justification for non-payment.

Do not ask us to work for free.
Do you work for free?

Stop asking us to join your committees, speak at your conferences, lead your workshops for free.

Stop exploiting Black women for their labor in hopes that uttering our name on your platform will placate us.

Get comfortable paying Black women, or get comfortable googling all of your questions.

Support Black women.
Pay Black women.
Period.

#blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dobetter #isaidwhatisaid #thatsthetea #dei #diversityandinclusion #protectblackwomen

Normalize not speaking over or dismissing the lived experiences of others simply because it has never happened to you.

Normalize thinking introspectively about why your experience differs from the person speaking.

When someone tells you they had a racist/homophobic/xenophobic experience with a co-worker, boss or executive, instead of pushing back on them- ask yourself why your experience with this person was different.

You do not get to decide how other's feel.
You do not get to decide if something “isn't racist“ while you sit on your privileged pedestal.

You do not get to dictate what is trauma and what is not.
Stop gaslighting people into believing their trauma isn't valid.

Normalize not making someone else's trauma about your comfort.

Normalize believing Black people.
Normalize believing Black women
Normalize believing trans women.
Normalize believing LGBTQ
Normalize believing women.
Normalize believing people's trauma.
Normalize doing better for your people.
Normalize firing racists.

#BlackLivesMatter #blackexcellence #blackgirlmagic #isaidwhatisaid #dobetter #thatsthetea #dei #diversityandinclusion #protectblackwomen

In 2023, we shouldn't have a n*zi problem but we do.

Last night while sitting at a red light, I was next to a group of people holding trump flags and flashing nazi hand symbols.

Just a regular tuesday night in the Ihop parking lot, I suppose.

I keep hearing that yt men feel like they're under attack, but they're the same ones who feel safe enough to stand on the side of a major intersection highlighting their hate-without interruption, while people drive by and beep.

and I'm not currently in Texas, this is in a “blue“ state.

This shouldn't be normal, but it is.
Hate has been a normal part of American history since its birth.

We often read history books, and say “never again“, but it is never “never again“.

It cannot be “never again“ while hate is allowed to thrive in our society, in our government and in our policies.

How can we expect history to not repeat itself when so much of the country sits with their hands firmly pressed against their ears when we talk about oppression, when we talk about racism, when we talk about anti-semitism.

“Never again“ must start with us.

We say things like “hate has no home here“ but hate has always been the landlord in this country.

This work cannot just be about those who look and live like you, this work has to be about dismantling the systems that harm all of us.

The work doesn't end when we, ourselves, have a seat at the proverbial table.

The work doesn't end, period.

No one should feel fear when they leave their home.
No one should feel as if their voice is silenced by the masses.

“Never again“ has to start with us.
Safety is a basic human right.

Hate exists in every corner of our society, not just within the lens that we view the world.

We must shine a light onto every dark shadow, not just inside our own lives.

White supremacy is the monster under all of our beds.

The anti-semitism isn't just “stuff on the internet“, it is real life, it is violent.

There is no longer space for neutrality.
Silence is the tool of the opppressor.

We can't all change the world but we can call out our friends, family, acquaintances or random people who seek you out on their behavior.

Justice must look like accountability.
Safety must look like accountability.

If you feel threatened by the idea of people calling out racism, anti-semitism or homophobia, I encourage you to unpack why you feel that way.

This isn't about censorship.
This is about basic humanity.

Be a better human.

Bonus: Making a political candidate a personality trait is very weird energy.

Black Lives > Profit

On Monday night, we watched as Damar Hamlin received CPR on the field for 10 minutes.

His team members and coaches had to convince NFL to make the right decision about postponing the game.

Black men deserved to be loved.

Yet, the NFL has shown us time and time again that is not the case.
The NFL doesn't love Black men, the NFL loves what Black men do for their ratings, their profitability and their brand.

The world has shown us time and time again that is not the case.

I have written and rewritten my feelings about what unfolded in Monday night football this week.

Players and coaches had to convince the NFL to postpone a game after watching someone they know, someone they love receive CPR for 10 minutes.

Damar Hamlin went into cardiac arrest on the field, and the NFL wanted the world to continue on like normal.

The NFL didn't care about his life.
The NFL didn't not care about how this event impacted his team members, coaches and competition.

They cared about making sure end of season games continued without issue.

Skip Bayless tweeted, “no doubt the NFL is considering postponing the rest of this game - but how? This late in the season, a game of this magnitude is crucial to the regular-season outcome … which suddenly seems so irrelevant.”.

Time and time again the world has shown us they don't care about Black lives, they care about profit.

They care about how we can make them money.
They care about how we can make them famous.
They care about how we can entertain them.

We see this played out in the NFL, in Hollywood and right here in our offices.

In 2018, Laura Ingraham famously said “Shut up and dribble“.
This attitude towards Black men is not new, and it is simply white supremacy at work.

Black men deserve to be valued for who they are, not just what they can do.

Black men deserve better.
Black men deserve joy.
Black men deserve safety.
Black men deserve love.

Black lives have to be more important than the NFL, than feelings, than money, than comfort- anything else is just white supremacy with a pay per view fee.

It’s okay to unplug.
Hustle culture is real, and exhausting.
We live in a world that tells us to “rise and grind”, but never to take a breath.

As a Black woman, I feel like I need to constantly need to be working or my career will slip through my fingertips.

Black women need to constantly prove themselves just to survive in corporate America. Our best is soon forgotten and needs to be recreated, over and over.

It is exhausting.

You constantly feel like you’re racing against your last accomplishment, you must always outdo yourself.

I struggle to sit still, I often feel disappointed in myself when I’m not working- as if I’m letting myself down.

I’ve had to teach myself the importance of self care, and stepping away.

It’s okay to take care of yourself.
That email will still be there tomorrow, that spreadsheet will wait.

We get one life, and I’m trying hard to make sure I actively experience it.

So today, on my last day of PTO, I will spend it outside, drinking wine, making my favorite woman laugh and not checking my email.

That’s the tea. Cheers.

#blacklivesmatter #blackgirlmagic #blackexcellence #dei #diversityandinclusion #dobetter #selfcare #thatsthetea

My body is the least interesting thing about me.

Last year I bought this work out set, put it on one time and knew I would never wear it to the gym.

I focused on what my legs looked like, what my hips, looked like, what my stomach looked like and decided that everyone would judge those things about me.

I threw it in a drawer a year ago, and never looked back.
Yesterday, I decided to look back.

Over the last year, I have focused on what it means to love my body, at all stages.

Knowing that not every day is a good body day, I focused on how could I be neutral about my body.

It's not that I don't care how I look, it's that I don't care how other's perceive my body- and let me tell you, that is the best freedom I have ever given myself.

I'm not doing before and after photos because my body “before“ body is still me, and she is deserving of kindness, love and acceptance. She is still worthy of existing freely without comparison.

This has allowed me to step outside of my comfort zone.

This has allowed me to lift heavy stuff without fear of how the people around me are viewing me.

This has allowed me to do the kind of workouts in the gym that leave me sweating without worrying about if I looked silly.

The freedom to move your body without worrying how others perceive it is a gift.

Our bodies will change, that is the only guarantee.
How we choose to talk to ourselves through those changes is up to us.

It is easy to look in the mirror and compare yourself to instagram or your high school body. It becomes easy to tell yourself you are deserving of judgement or less deserving of movement, work out outfits or acceptance.

But, why would I want to look like 17 year old me when I'm a fully grown adult now?

Regardless of how our bodies change, it is the only body we have and it pays dividends to speak nicely to our bodies.

Homes built in anger will perpetuate that.
Your body is your home, you cannot hate yourself into a new one.
You cannot hate yourself into body acceptance.

You do not owe anyone a specific body, a specific outfit, or outfits that are “flattering“.

You owe yourself grace, compassion and kindness.
You owe yourself the space to move, groove and exist however you want to without fear of how others will perceive you.

You are not your before and after, you are just you, and I hope you choose to embrace that.

This apparently is a PSA that I need to post on LinkedIn-

-If you comment wild nonsense on my posts, I am most likely going to blog about it.

-If my posts make you uncomfortable, I’m not sorry about that- I’m not here to make you comfortable.

-You don’t have to like it, it’s actually really okay if you don’t.

- Your employer can see when you post racist/sexist/xenophobic crap.

-My views are my own and I’m very obviously a black woman and my viewpoints reflect that.



No tea today, just common sense.

#diversityandinclusion #DEI #PocInTech #HumanAtWork #blackgirlmagic

Spicy Hot Take:

We hit 900 Black speakers this week, and people are still asking why we don't educate racists for free.

Black people do not owe niceness, respect or conversation to racists.

We do not owe our spaces to those who have intention to harm us.

Every time a racist shows up in my comment sections, without a doubt someone asks me-

“WHY NOT EDUCATE THEM?“

Organizations pay me for my time and education.
Individuals pay me for time and education.
& these are people who actually want to learn.

If you're looking for education we launched the Black Speakers Collection to help you find educators on all topics- and yes, we all have fees.

However, not everyone is interested in education, learning or growth.

Oftentimes the harmful people on the internet are not trying to learn, they are trying to invalidate the experiences of Black people.

These same people have decided that “inclusion“ is synonymous with doormat.

Let me be clear, I am not the one.
or the two.

You will catch the smoke.

I do not allow racism, homophobia or transphobia in my spaces.
If you bring nonsense to my page, stop being shocked when you catch smoke instead of niceties.

We do not owe our IP or our emotional labor to anyone for free.
We do not owe abusers kindness.
We do not owe anyone access to our spaces.

We owe ourselves protection, humanity and boundaries.

Bonus: If you're looking to book speakers and scream about inclusion- stop booking all white, cishetero, male panels.

#blacklivesmatter #BlackLivesMatter #BlackGirlMagic #BlackExcellence #DoBetter #ThatsTheTea #BlackVoicesMatter

Reminder:

I see color.
I am Black, Blackity, Black.

You choosing to not see color isn't admirable or respectful, it's an extension of white supremacy.

Choosing to ignore how vastly different experiences are based on our identities ignores history, it ignores reality and it ignores our individual lived experiences.

Stop telling us you don't see color.
It is not a compliment.
It's an excuse for complacency.

Be self aware enough to acknowledge the experiences of others, especially when they are different from your own.

Recognize people's experiences, recognize how they are seen by the world, recognize who people are.

Do better.

One thing about me? I do not play about me.

I have one rule about how I deal with the people who i choose to have in my life.

Do not play in my face when you could leave me alone.

The minute someone plays in my face, I am happy to exit stage left.
The minute someone over steps a clear boundary I have set, I am happy to remove myself.

The minute someone makes me feel physically, mentally or emotionally unsafe, I am out of there.

Human nature often leads us down the path of trying to coach people, help people or extend grace to the people who are actively harming us-- however, you must be your own priority.

Instead of asking yourself how you can fix someone, ask yourself how this situation serves you, your mental health and your life.

There are partners, friends, and community members who do not need to be told how to treat you, they do not need to be taught.

Choose people who choose you, and more importantly, stop choosing people who benefit from your existence yet continue to ask you to shrink it.