Mary Cristine

In less than 9 months I’m turning 45….



And I’m not afraid to admit that,

Love isn’t about being chosen; it’s about choosing yourself first.

The way someone treats you is a reflection of them, not your worth.

You don’t have to shrink to be loved—real love meets you at your fullest.

Walking away from what diminishes you isn’t losing; it’s self-respect.

The right love will never require you to abandon yourself.

Being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel lonely.

You are not hard to love, only misaligned with those who can’t see your value.

Love is not a reward for proving your worth. You were enough before anyone had the chance to tell you otherwise. The love you accept will always be a reflection of the love you give yourself first.

Here’s to standing tall, knowing what you deserve, and never settling for anything less.

I’m 44 and I’m not afraid to admit…



“You Are the Prize - Act Like It!”

If they have to lose you to realize your worth, they never truly saw it.

If love requires you to prove your value, it’s not love—it’s negotiation.

If they make you feel like you’re too much, it’s because they were never enough.

The way someone treats you is their choice. What you accept is yours.

A person who genuinely values you won’t risk losing you.

You are not something to be earned, chased, or fixed to be more lovable. The moment you start acting like the prize, you’ll stop tolerating the things that make you question your worth.

The right person won’t need to be convinced to stay. They’ll recognize your value from the start.

Raise your standards, walk with confidence, and never settle for half-hearted love.

We talk about love like it’s all in the heart…




Or in the head.

But what if the thing that’s been messing with

your relationships…

was actually in your gut?

Not metaphorically.

Biologically.

—

Your gut isn’t just where digestion happens.

It’s where over 90% of your body’s serotonin is made

the neurotransmitter responsible for mood,

emotional regulation, and bonding.

But here’s the part almost no one talks about:

Certain strains of gut bacteria directly affect your oxytocin receptors

the same ones that determine how safe you feel in love,

how deeply you trust,

and whether you’re able to truly connect…

or emotionally shut down.

—

So what happens if your gut is off?

If it’s inflamed…

If your microbiome lacks diversity…

If stress has wiped out the balance you once had…

Then those chemical messengers

the ones that whisper, “you’re safe here” or “this feels good”

start going quiet.

And suddenly, love feels… harder.

Not because your heart is broken.

But because your gut is out of sync.

—

Think about it:

You can journal, read the books, go to therapy

but if your gut is dysregulated,

your body may still be stuck in survival.

Closed.

Guarded.

Unable to fully receive.

And not because you don’t want love.

But because your nervous system hasn’t been able to feel safe in it.

—

We underestimate how physical love really is.

How trust is a chemical state.

How emotional intimacy needs biological safety.

And how healing your gut might be the deepest

form of inner work no one’s talking about.

—

So next time you wonder why you’re having a hard time letting someone in…

why you’re anxious in relationships…

or why love feels like more of a threat than a gift

Start with your gut.

It may not be where love begins.

But it’s absolutely where it learns how to stay.

Nicotine doesn’t relieve stress, it creates it…




The first cigarette, as we recognize it today, dates back to the mid-19th century, but its roots run deeper.

1600s–1800s: Smoking tobacco became common in pipes, cigars, and snuff. “Cigarettes” began as hand-rolled tobacco in paper, often by poor people.

The real shift came when James Bonsack invented the cigarette-rolling machine in 1881, which could produce 120,000 cigarettes a day. This launched mass production, and addiction, at scale.

In the 20th century, companies like Marlboro, Camel, and Lucky Strike made smoking glamorous, especially using Hollywood and war-time advertising.

Doctors were paid to endorse cigarettes: Ads in the 1940s claimed doctors recommended certain brands, making it feel safe.

Ads pushed smoking as a weight-loss aid and symbol of rebellion and sophistication.

For decades, the health risks of smoking were hidden, denied, or underfunded. Big Tobacco buried studies linking smoking to cancer and heart disease.

Tobacco taxes became a massive source of national revenue, and regulation lagged far behind what was already known.

By the 1950s, smoking had become a social norm in the Western world. Over 50% of men and 30% of women in the U.S. smoked daily. That generation became the first truly global wave of nicotine dependence, by design.

Few talk about the real cost:

Nicotine silently burns through the edge you’ve
spent years building.

It constricts blood vessels in your gut, cutting off oxygen to the very place where over 90% of your serotonin is made.

It weakens digestion.

Feeds stress-inducing bacteria.

Disrupts your microbiome’s ability to produce dopamine, focus, and drive.

It acts like fertilizer for cancer: it helps it grow, spread, and resist treatment.

So while you chase that next deal,

that sharper mind,

that edge you believe nicotine gives you

Your biology is quietly eroding.

This isn’t about morality.

It’s about optimization.

If you’re building something that demands clarity,

stamina,

emotional regulation

nicotine’s not the shortcut.

It’s the slowdown.

The best don’t rely on chemicals.

They master chemistry

by protecting their internal terrain.

That’s the new ELITE…

He didn’t feel like himself anymore…




But no one told him it had a name…

Low energy.
Irritability.
Loss of motivation.
Muscle fading, belly growing, sleep disrupted.

And a quiet sense of “What’s wrong with me?”

that no one talks about.

It’s called Andropause.

And it affects millions of men
but it’s often ignored, dismissed, or misunderstood.

Because men are taught to push through.

To “man up.”
To perform.

But what happens when your chemistry changes…

and your body no longer responds the way it used to?

Here’s what most people don’t know:

Testosterone begins to decline around age 30, dropping about 1% per year.

By 45–50, many men experience symptoms that mirror depression, but it’s hormonal.

Mood, strength, libido, motivation, sleep, and fat gain are all affected.

Yet most go undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or never ask for help at all.

This isn’t weakness.
This is physiology.

And pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away.

You don’t need to “tough it out.”

You need to understand what’s happening,
and take action from a place of awareness, not shame.

Optimizing men’s health at midlife isn’t about reversing age

It’s about reclaiming vitality.

Balancing hormones.

Building muscle.

Sharpening focus.

Sleeping deeply.

And restoring confidence from the inside out.

Because the truth is:

You don’t lose your edge because you’re aging.

You lose it when you stop paying attention.

Andropause isn’t the end,

It’s the signal to evolve, to upgrade, and to take your health seriously.

It’s about making sure those years are strong,

energized, and fully yours.