Today is my son's 3rd birthday.
Here is an excerpt from the letter I wrote him:
To My Son Roman, on Your Third Birthday â
Instead of attempting to provide a perfect map to what lies ahead for you, I will offer instead this compass.
You wonât always know where you areâyou will struggle, fall, fail, and hurtâbut if you keep this compass close to your heart, I am confident youâll end up where you are meant to be.
And more importantly, youâll find meaning and joy in the journey along the way.
1. Always take yourself seriously. The way the world treats you is a simple reflection of the way you treat yourself. Always carry yourself like your life matters. Because it does.
2. Never, ever give up your agency. You are in control. Of everything. It's all on you. Nobody is coming to save you. But one thing I can promise: You are entirely capable of climbing back all on your own. You are at the wheel. Never let go.
3. Find and embrace your meaningful struggle. Hard things donât get easier, you get stronger. And if you show up for long enough, somewhere along the way, you might even uncover a struggle you find meaningful.
4. Take pride in your reliability. My grandfather, your great-grandfather, had a wonderful saying: You'll achieve much more by being consistently reliable than by being occasionally extraordinary. You can get pretty damn far in life by just doing what you say youâre going to do.
5. Have the courage to question the defaults. It takes courage to question these defaults in a world that profits from your acceptance of them. But the best things in life sit on the other side of the questions you dare to ask.
6. Remember that life is less about what you're doing and more about who you're doing it with. With the right people, the journeys become lighter and the destinations far brighter.
7. Be kind when no one's watching. Your character is defined by who you are when no one's watching. That is who you are. That is your destiny.
8. Create the space for curiosity to thrive. Curiosity doesn't fade, but the space to engage it does. Make time to get lost in things that have no obvious utility to your life.
9. Above all else, love your mother fiercely. There may come a time when I'm not around. If that ever happens, I want you to take care of her. I want you to cherish her, just as she cherishes you. As long as you have your mother close to your heart, you'll always be ok.
A few weeks ago, you crawled into bed next to me in the middle of the night. I heard you quietly say something:
âSleep next to Dada my best friend.â
It was the best moment of my life.
I hope you know what those words meant to me. That they'll echo in my head until my last breath. And while you'll grow up and probably have other best friends, you'll always be mine.
I love you, my son. Happy birthday.
***
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