Sahil Bloom

If you sit in back-to-back meetings at work, read this:

Microsoft's Human Factors Lab studied 14 participants across two days of video meetings.

• Day 1: 4 back-to-back 30-min meetings.

• Day 2: 4 30-min meetings with 10-minute breaks in between.

Participants wore EEG caps to monitor electrical activity in their brains.

The results were fascinating...

The two key takeaways:

Takeaway 1: Back-to-Back Meetings Promote Stress

Back-to-back meetings created an accumulating buildup of stress in the brain.

Anticipation of transitions caused further spikes.

Short breaks in between meetings allowed the brain to reset and never experience the stress buildup.

Takeaway 2: Breaks Promote Performance

Back-to-back meetings resulted in negative levels of frontal alpha symmetry, a brain state connected to lower levels of engagement.

Short breaks in between meetings resulted in positive levels, meaning participants performed better.

Conclusion: Take More Breaks

The conclusion of the study seems to be that short breaks in between meetings are necessary:

• Eliminate stress buildup
• Improve performance
• Reduce impact of attention residue

I started implementing 25-minute meetings into my schedule (a built in 5-minute break) and immediately noticed a positive impact.

A short walk or some movement in that window provided a clear reset.

25-minute meetings also eliminate the 5 minutes of “how about the weather” low value chit chat most meetings open with.

If you set the tone to dive in and stay focused, there are few things that take more than 25 minutes.

Try it!

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***

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22 truths I wish I knew at 22:

1. Most of your friends aren’t really your friends. They’re just along for the ride when it’s fun, convenient, or valuable. Your real friends are there for you when it's none of those. Find them and cherish them.

2. Waking up early and working out will completely change your life. One tiny action with massive ripple effects.

3. Nothing good happens after midnight (especially when you've been drinking).

4. Stand up straight and look people in the eye. Two old fashioned things that stand out and never go out of style. The way you carry yourself dramatically impacts how the world will engage with you.

5. If you focus on making tons of money, you'll do ok. If you focus on creating tons of value, you'll do great.

6. Make decisions that your 80-year old self and 10-year-old self approve of. The former cares about the long-term compounding of actions, while the latter reminds you to have some fun along the way.

7. The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is to you from yesterday.

8. When you think something nice about someone, tell them right then. It's a tiny habit that will pay long lasting dividends.

9. Social media is designed to make you wish you were someone else, somewhere else, and with someone else. Curate your consumption and eliminate what brings negative emotions.

10. Prioritize spending time with people who make you better—who lift you up and make you want to grow.

11. Call your parents more often—they won't be around forever.

12. Your success in life is proportional to the number of difficult conversations you're willing to have.

13. The “sleep when I'm dead“ mentality is broken. Great sleep is an essential ingredient of great results.

14. Give people a second chance, but never a third. If they're holding you back, cut them out of your life.

15. Trying is the coolest thing you can do. If you're going to do something, do it well.

16. Stop trying to be interesting and focus on being interested. You become interesting by being interested.

17. You'll never know what you want to be when you grow up—and that's fine. Prioritize asking great questions and having a bias for action and you'll always make it.

18. Finding the truth is more important than being right. Stop arguing to win—start listening to learn.

19. Grades won't matter much, but energy for learning will.

20. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Most people aren't thinking about you at all.

21. Not all decisions are reversible, but most of them are.

22. Go on a few wild and crazy adventures that you'll be excited to tell your kids about someday.

***

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How to get more done in less time.

The Eisenhower Matrix:

Dwight Eisenhower was known for his prolific productivity. His secret?

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.“

The Eisenhower Matrix is a 2x2 popularized by Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Here's how it works:

The matrix forces you to differentiate between the urgent and the important to prioritize your time accordingly. An URGENT task is one that requires immediate attention to complete. An IMPORTANT task is one that contributes to your long-term mission or goals.

The four quadrants of the 2x2 grid:
• Important & Urgent
• Important & Not Urgent
• Not Important & Urgent
• Not Important & Not Urgent

Let's walk through each:

Important & Urgent

They require immediate, focused attention—but also contribute to your long-term mission or goals. These are “Do Now!“ tasks. Manage these tasks.

Important & Not Urgent

These tasks are your compounders—they build long-term value in your life. These are “Decide“ tasks. Spend more time on these tasks—plan the time to do deep work here. This is where you should try to spend most of your time and energy.

Not Important & Urgent

These tasks are the “beware“ category—they can drain time and energy without contributing to your long-term goals. These are “Delegate“ tasks. Spend less time here and try to delegate over time to people for whom the tasks will be important.

Not Important & Not Urgent

These are the time wasting tasks and activities that drain your energy and sap your productivity. These are “Delete“ tasks. Spend less time here.

Use the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize your current tasks.

The Goal: Spend more time on the important tasks that contribute to your long-term values and goals.

In simple terms:
• Manage top-right
• Spend more time in top-left
• Waste less time in the bottom half

***

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This is the most important (and underrated) career advice:

Build a reputation for figuring it out.

At every step of your career, you'll be given a lot of tasks you have no idea how to complete.

Imposter syndrome will inevitably set in—you'll wonder how you can possibly be expected to do this thing that you've never done before (let alone do it well!).

There's nothing more valuable than someone who can just figure it out:

• Do some work
• Ask the key questions
• Get it done

If you do that, high quality people will fight over you and your career will accelerate.

If this resonates, repost to share with others ♻️ and follow Sahil Bloom for more in future. Brilliant visual by the talented Moina Abdul!

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My mom hired a writer to sit down with my 95-year-old grandmother in India and document stories from her life.

They met weekly for two years.

The process brought my grandmother immense joy—the result will bring my family joy for years to come.

I think everyone should do this:

My mom found the writer through an elderly care service in India.

Her request was for someone who would record and transcribe stories from my grandmother.

The writer was a recent university graduate named Raika Sengupta.

The process began shortly after the pandemic lockdowns ended in India.

Raika would visit with my grandmother every week.

Depending on my grandmother’s energy, they would meet for an hour or less.

Each time, they would pick up where they left off on her life journey.

Raika would record the conversation and then transcribe the recordings—mostly in my grandmother’s own words, with some stylistic improvements where necessary.

My grandmother is an AMAZING storyteller, so the writing naturally flowed.

The weekly meeting became a beautiful ritual.

During a time when there wasn’t much to look forward to because of COVID lockdowns and a diminished social life, my grandmother looked forward to these sessions.

They made her feel important again—such a powerful thing at her age.

Once the writing was complete, my mother—a beautiful writer herself—took the pen on editing and converting the stories into a book.

She worked with my grandmother on the flow and filling in the gaps.

They added chapters on special people in her life—siblings, friends, etc.

We wanted to add photos to the book, so the whole family got involved.

When I was in India in January, I got to sit with my mom, dad, and grandmother and go through old photos to include.

We uncovered some real gems. It was beautiful.

The book is almost complete. We will have enough copies made so that all of her family can have a copy to remember her by when she is gone.

I really believe everyone should do this.

One of the saddest things is seeing our grandparents feel they are no longer “important” to anyone.

The process reminded my grandmother how much she is loved and how much she still has to offer the world.

If you enjoyed this or learned something, follow me Sahil Bloom for more in the future.

This letter stopped me in my tracks…

Every single person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Your one tiny action can create ripples that extend far beyond yourself.

Create more ripples.

For anyone out there battling in silence, you’re not alone.

We’re all in it together.

Lift someone up this week for no reason at all.

“I hope you win the war you tell no one about.”

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Here’s a harsh truth: 95% of the time you have with your children is gone by the time they turn 18.

Writer and philosopher Sam Harris once said:

"No matter how many times you do something, there will come a day when you do it for the last time."

There will be a last time your kids want you to read them a bedtime story, a last time they’ll run up and jump into your arms, a last time they’ll crawl into bed with you after a nightmare.

There will be a last time for all of it.

How many moments do you ­really have remaining with your kids?

It’s probably not as many as you’d like to believe.

All the tiny things that we take for granted are things our 90-year-old self will wish we had again.

Time is your most precious asset and the present is all that’s guaranteed. Spend it wisely, with those you love, in ways you’ll never regret.

Note: This is an excerpt derived from the Time Wealth section of my NYT bestselling book, The 5 Types of Wealth. It will help you ask the questions you’ve been avoiding so you can take action to build your dream life.

Order it today: https://lnkd.in/eEvFnNr3

An important rule for life

Life Hack: Focus on Direction, Not Speed.

I ask 3 questions at the end of every month:

There's an aviation concept called the 1-in-60 Rule. It says that a 1 degree error in heading will cause a plane to miss its target by 1 mile for every 60 miles flown.

The concept applies directly to your life:

Tiny deviations from the optimal course are amplified by distance and time. A small miss now creates a very large miss later.

This highlights the importance of real-time course corrections and adjustments.

Conduct a three question monthly check-in at the end of each month:

1. What really matters right now in my life and are my Big Goals still aligned with this?

This is a simple way to pressure test your Big Goals and ensure they are still the right ones.

2. Are my current Daily Systems aligned with my Big Goals?

Assess the quality of your Daily Systems and whether they are creating the appropriate momentum. If not, make adjustments accordingly.

3. What do I need to cut from my life to progress more efficiently?

We think we need new additions to make progress, but oftentimes growth is on the other side of subtraction.

Assess the quality of your environment and evaluate whether there are any toxic habits or relationships that are a drag on your growth. Make necessary changes.

Write the answers down.

The ritual takes ~30 minutes each month and creates an opportunity for monthly reflection and course correction on your journey.

***

If you leverage this monthly review, you will always stay on the optimal course in 2024 and reach new heights.

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The brutal truth about confident people?

(they fail more than you do)...

Confidence is less about knowing you’ll win and more about knowing you’ll bounce back even if you don’t.

Real confidence is built on resilience. Adaptability. Tolerance for uncertainty.

Fear loses when you embrace that failure is never final.

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The highest form of intelligence isn’t IQ.

(this realization changed my life)...

It’s adaptability.

Knowledge matters, but the ability to learn, unlearn, and change course matters more. The rigid cling to what was. The adaptable adjust to what is and what will be.

The future belongs to them.

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Hot take: There’s no such thing as a loser who wakes up at 5am and works out.

Why?

Because it’s hard.

It requires intense discipline—and it creates evidence of your power and control over your world.

That has ripple effects into every other area of life.

This is NOT to say that you have to wake up early to be successful, but it is to say that waking up early is the fastest way to rewire your brain.

To remind yourself that you can do anything. That you are capable. That you are a winner.

Remember: Confidence is built, not born. It is built through keeping promises to yourself.

Say what you’re going to do—do it. When you’re feeling stuck, that can provide the spark to get you out of it.

A lot of problems are solved by waking up early and working out.

So with that in mind, I’m off for my morning run. Who’s with me?

This is a powerful idea from my NYT bestselling book, The 5 Types of Wealth.

It was just named one of the Best Books of the Year (So Far) by Amazon. You can order it now on a huge 50% sale!

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The most attractive trait…

(it’s not looks, wealth or status).

It’s energy.

Walk into rooms with genuine enthusiasm, curiosity, and interest. You’ll become a magnet for the highest quality people.

Energy is contagious. Spread the kind you’d want to catch.

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An idea that changed my life (and may change yours)...

The Paradox of Failure:

You have to fail more to succeed more.

Our transformative moments of growth often stem directly from our toughest moments of failure.

Don't fear failure—learn to fail smart and fast. Never fail the same way twice.

Always put yourself in the arena.

The master is often just the person who had the highest tolerance for failure.

We fear failure, so most of us play it safe to avoid it.

Do not accept failure, but do not fear it either.

You will fail. Embrace it. Learn to fail smart and fast.

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I made a list of things I know I'd regret on my deathbed.

Everyone should do this:

To conduct your own, simply ask yourself these questions:

What are the things you know you'd regret on your deathbed?

If you continue on your current path, will you have those regrets?

If so, what changes need to be made to avoid them?

How can you design your life to avoid those regrets?

I recommend doing the exercise by yourself, but then coming together with a group of loved ones to discuss and reflect on your learnings.

These ideas are from my NYT bestselling book, The 5 Types of Wealth.

Andrew Huberman called it “an important clarifying force in anyone’s search to make the best possible choices for their life.”

It’s on a big 50% sale right now: https://lnkd.in/eUzjZUxj

How to win: Ask great questions + Take action

See my Question-Action Matrix:

Asking great questions is how you uncover the truth. Taking action is how you build upon it.

Q1: World-Changers
Q2: Grinders/Hustlers
Q3: Philosophers/Thinkers
Q4: Dead Zoners

World-Changers are rare. These are the people with an incredible curiosity, intellect, and engine.

Grinders have a high bias for action that creates movement and results, but they may need the direction set by others.

Philosophers are extremely thoughtful, but unable to go from brilliant idea to execution on their own.

A practical model to apply this insight:

• Invest behind World-Changers
• Hire more Grinders
• Spend time with Philosophers
• Avoid Dead Zoners

***

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20 significant mental errors (you don't know you're making).

Learn these to improve your career, relationships, and life:

Connecting with people is a critical life skill.

4 principles to become a master conversationalist:

Principle 1: Create Doorknobs

I read an article by an improv performer who referred to “doorknobs“ in conversations. Doorknobs are questions or statements that invite the other person to open them and walk through by telling a story.

Example: How did you decide on the wedding venue?

The question version (where did you get married?) will lead to a conversation stop (a location response). The doorknob will lead to a story.

Every story offers new opportunities for you, the listener, to attach to a point and further the discourse.

Doorknobs create stories—you should create doorknobs.

Principle 2: Be a Loud Listener

In a recent NYT opinion piece, David Brooks referred to the idea of loud listening.

Loud listening can take many forms:

• Sounds: Saying “yes“ or “uh-huh“ or “hmm“ to signal listening and encourage energy from the speaker.

• Facial Expressions: Changing facial expressions to react to the story being told.

• Body Language: Forward lean posture towards the speaker signals engagement and positive energy. Never turn away or sideways.

We've all been in a conversation where the other person is uninterested in who we are or what we have to say. We know that feeling. Don't create it for others.

Principle 3: Repeat & Follow

Active listening leads directly into the “repeat and follow“ method:

Repeating key points back to the speaker in your own words and following on with an additional insight, story, or doorknob. This is an opportunity to cement connection with the speaker and show engaged listening.

Principle 4: Make Situational Eye Contact

Eye contact is nuanced: Too little and you look shifty, too much and you look psychotic.

I like situational eye contact:

• Deep and connected while they speak.
• Organic while you speak.

It’s ok to gaze off while you think, but use eye contact to emphasize key points and moments in a story.

To get you started, here are 9 great “doorknobs“ that I like to use in conversations:

1. What are you most excited about right now, personally or professionally?

2. What was your favorite (or least favorite) thing about your hometown?

3. What's the origin of your name? Why did your parents give you that name?

4. What was the most interesting thing you've read or learned recently?

5. If you had an entire day to yourself, how would you spend it?

6. What do you feel you've changed your mind on recently?

7. If you could have a dinner with 5 people from history, who are they and why?

8. What has been something you've purchased for under $100 that made a difference in your life?

9. What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Focus on the four core principles and use these doorknobs t, you'll immediately improve your overall ability as a conversationalist.

***

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While everyone else is learning ChatGPT prompts...

The real winners are mastering this:

Doing the old fashioned things well.

Stand up straight. Look people in the eye. Do what you say you'll do. Be on time. Have a confident handshake. Be kind.

Surprisingly few live up to this standard.

The old fashioned things never go out of style.

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Hot Take: Waking up early is as close to a life cheat code as you will find.

Here's why:

There's no such thing as a loser who wakes up at 5am.

Why?

Because it's hard, it requires intense discipline, and it creates evidence of your power and control over your world.

That bleeds into every other area of life.

This is not to say that you have to wake up early to be successful, but it is to say that waking up early is the fastest way to rewire your brain—to remind yourself that you can do anything, that you are capable, that you are a winner.

Remember: Confidence is built, not born.

Manufacturing evidence of your ability to do hard things is how you create confidence when you're feeling low.

Wake up early and you'll start to see yourself in a new light.

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One thing I’ve learned in the last year: Your entire life can change with one year of focused daily effort.

If you bring the energy every single day, there are quite literally no limits to what you can achieve.

Never bet against the person who just keeps showing up.

This is the single greatest habit you can build...

(and it's entirely free)

In his famous biography of Steve Jobs, author Walter Isaacson comments that Jobs believed he did his best creative thinking while walking.

He and Jony Ive, Apple's Chief Design Officer, would often pace around the tables in the design room together as they hammered out the finer points of Apple's revolutionary product designs.

As a lasting legacy of Jobs' love of walking, the open, circular design of the new Apple Park was specifically designed to foster long walks and creative bouts.

No mental block can outlast the power of a 30-minute walk.

Simple challenge for the week:

Go for a 30-minute tech-free walk.

• No phone
• No music
• No podcasts
• No articles
• No audiobooks

Just you, your thoughts, your gratitude, and the fresh air.

It’s a simple reset that will change your perspective, spark creativity, and improve your mental and physical health.

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Harsh Truth: Most people don't really care about you.

The Spotlight Effect (and how to dim it):

The Spotlight Effect is a psychological phenomenon where we overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing our actions, behaviors, or appearance.

It's an egocentric bias—we see everything through a “Player 1“ lens and believe our perspective is the only perspective.

The phrase Spotlight Effect was coined by a group of psychologists in 2000.

They asked a student to wear an embarrassing shirt (with Barry Manilow on it) and estimate how many of their classmates noticed the outfit.

The student estimated 50%, when in reality only 25% did.

Two simple takeaways:

1. We think everyone is staring and noticing us, but they aren't.

2. Even if they are, they quickly forget about it.

The Spotlight Effect explains why we feel that there is a spotlight shining on us in public and social situations.

This has negative consequences in our lives:

• Pre-conditioned fear of placing yourself in “spotlight situations“ means you shrink yourself down.

• Self-consciousness can manifest as self-centeredness.

• Avoidance of doing what makes you happy due to fear of judgement.

We may never turn it off completely, but we could all benefit from dimming the spotlight...

Three Spotlight Dimming Strategies:

1. Awareness

The first step is always awareness.

Understand that others are never as tuned into you as you are.

Even if they do notice you, they quickly forget about it, as they're just focused on themselves.

We are biologically selfish creatures!

2. Be Interested

Most people strive to be interesting—to impress people.

Instead, focus on being interested.

Ask questions, listen, and engage.

This eases your own tension, gets others talking, and builds up your confidence in a new social situation.

3. “So What?“

Whenever I think about a future spotlight situation, I confront my fears about what could go wrong.

I then ask, “so what?“ about that fear becoming reality.

Usually it isn't all that bad.

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.“

There are two big mistakes in life:

1. Worrying about what other people think about you.

2. Believing that other people think about you in the first place.

Fight back. Stop worrying about what others think, be yourself, and live according to your values.

There’s so much hidden talent out there in the world that has yet to be revealed because of fear of judgement from others.

Overcoming the Spotlight Effect is the way that this talent gets unlocked.

If you enjoyed this or learned something, follow me Sahil Bloom for more in future!

7 costs of entry you must pay to get the life you want.

(most people quit at #3)

1. Imposter syndrome is a cost of entry for growth

2. Uncertainty is a cost of entry for achievement

3. Loneliness is a cost of entry for personal transformation

4. Boredom of routine is a cost of entry for success

5. Hard conversations are a cost of entry for meaningful relationships

6. Criticism is a cost of entry for excellence

7. Embarrassment is a cost of entry for progress

There is a cost of entry for everything you want in life.
The world belongs to those who see it for what it is.
The world belongs to those who embrace meaningful struggle.
The world belongs to those who pay the cost of entry with pride.

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Listening to audiobooks on 2.5x speed so that you can flex on reading 100 books per year is foolish.

We should all stop talking about how many books we read.

It's much more impressive to read one book and have it deeply impact you than to read 100 books and not feel a thing.

I asked an 80-year-old man what advice he would give to his younger self.

His response:

Treat your body like a house you’re going to have to live in for the next 70 years.

It really hit me.

Our body is the one house we get. Treat it accordingly. Make the necessary repairs, invest in a solid foundation daily. Do the things that will keep it thriving well beyond your youth.

The most liberating truth no one tells you:

Nobody cares.

When you’re winning, nobody cares. When you’re losing, nobody cares.

It doesn’t mean nobody loves you, it just means nobody cares about your life as much as you do. It just means that you are in control. It’s on you.

Nobody cares. Go do it.

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Everyone needs to hear this...

A story on the the hidden cost of comfort:

A man stumbled upon a cocoon of an emperor moth and took it home to witness its transformation.

One day, a small opening appeared. The man watched as the moth began to struggle to force its body through the tiny crack. A few hours went by as the moth wriggled, fought, and pushed—but it couldn’t seem to break through the tiny crack.

Feeling bad, the man carefully cracked the cocoon and peeled away the pieces to open up a path for the moth.

It quickly emerged, but something was wrong. Its body was swollen and its wings weren’t working. Days went by without progress. The moth never flew.

Only later did the man learn what had happened: The painful struggle to break free of the cocoon forces fluid from the moth’s body and wings. Without that struggle, the fluid was never drained and the moth was permanently incapacitated.

Your entire life will change when you realize that growth feeds on meaningful struggle. When you avoid that struggle, you literally starve your growth of the oxygen it needs to thrive.

Your natural bias to avoid discomfort, and to prevent those you love from feeling it, does more harm than good.

The truth is that long-term freedom is earned through a willingness to endure short-term struggle.

This sparks an important question:

What growth are you starving with the struggle you’re avoiding?

It’s easy to opt out of the struggle:
• We procrastinate on the important project
• We avoid the difficult conversation
• We hide from the internal work
• We skip the challenging workouts
• We dodge the deep work
• We run from the hard questions
• We numb ourselves with cheap dopamine

We want transformation—but the transformation is impossible without tension.

Growth isn’t a byproduct of ease. It’s a byproduct of struggle.

So, the next time you find yourself in that struggle—feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and tempted to quit—remember the moth:

The resistance may be the very thing shaping you into someone who can fly.

The growth you asked for is hidden in the struggle you avoid. Remember that.

***

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The smartest people I know aren't the most knowledgeable.

(they have something else entirely)...

They adapt faster than everyone else.

I spent my 20s collecting credentials. MBA. Finance roles. The "right" path. I thought intelligence meant having all the answers.

Then markets crashed. Industries transformed. Everything I "knew" became obsolete overnight.

That's when I learned: The rigid cling to what was. The adaptable adjust to what is and what will be.

Your expertise? A liability if you're too attached to it.

Your identity? A prison if it prevents you from evolving.

The future belongs to those who rewrite the manual when the game changes.

Every time you say "that's not how we do things," you're choosing rigidity over intelligence.

Adaptability isn't just surviving change—it's thriving because of it.

📌 Ready to invest in yourself?

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At the end of every year, I conduct a personal Annual Review.

7 simple questions (that may change your life):

(1) What did I change my mind on?
(2) What created energy?
(3) What drained energy?
(4) What were the boat anchors?
(5) What did I not do because of fear?
(6) What were my greatest hits/misses?
(7) What did I learn?

***

If you're interested in conducting your own 2022 Annual Review, I'll be sharing a deep dive on my template (and my own answers) in next week's newsletter. It will also include a printable PDF template of this Annual Review with visualizations to help guide your process.

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The days are long but the years are short. Cherish every single second.

A young reader asked me how to improve his standing in life.

I shared 3 pieces of actionable advice:

1. Wake up early and work out.

This isn’t guaranteed to change your life, but it will make you break any negative thought patterns and start identifying as a winner.

I believe it is the fastest way to break a negative identity cycle.

There’s no such thing as a loser who wakes up at 5am and works out.

One simple act that immediately makes you self-identify as a winner.

This has ripple effects.

2. Invest your free time to build a marketable skill.

Building a marketable skill creates real financial upside.

It won’t be fun to sacrifice free time in the short run, but it’s an investment in your financial upside that will pay dividends in the future.

3. Live well below your means.

Living cheaply to build a base of savings and investments is how you step off the financial treadmill.

Save half and invest the other half in a low cost market ETF.

Again, not fun in the short run, but it will allow you to break out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle in the long run.

I hope this helps someone else out there make forward progress on their journey.

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This idea completely changed my life…

The Snake Chasing Effect:

A man is walking through the woods when he stumbles across a snake in the center of his path. The snake lashes out and bites him without warning, then turns and slithers away down the path. The man feels the sharp pain of the bite and the venom coursing through his leg. Fortunately, he's close to the village, so if he just walks back and gets the wound treated, he'll be fine. But he feels the anger and resentment building inside him: "Why did the snake do that to me? That's not right. I'm going to get revenge."

He starts chasing down the snake path, but as he pursues the snake, the venom takes hold and he collapses and dies. The story offers a powerful lesson, which you might call the Snake Chasing Effect: In life, you're going to get bitten by a snake every now and then. Someone betrays you. A partner lies. A family member mistreats you. A friend lets you down. A coworker takes credit for your work. The initial wound hurts—but it's survivable. If you take care of yourself, walk back to the village and treat the wound, you'll be fine.

But how often do you do the exact opposite? The internal voice starts a familiar refrain: How could they do this to me? I'm going to get them back. You start chasing the snake down the path, seeking your revenge. You obsess over the betrayal. The unfairness. The injustice. The real damage is not from the bite itself, but from your reaction to it. The real damage comes when you chase the snake.

The Snake Chasing Effect is a reminder that the wisest response to harm isn't retaliation or obsession, but restoration. Don't give the snake more power of you than it has. Focus on healing, not hunting. Tend your wound. Mend your garden. Your rebirth is the greatest revenge.

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How to dramatically improve business decision making...

The After-Action Review (4 questions):

A simple, powerful framework used by the military and leading corporations to make continuous improvements by reflecting on each completed action and distilling the relevant insights to inform future actions.

The After-Action Review is four key questions:

1. What did we intend to accomplish?
2. What did we accomplish relative to our intention?
3. Why did it happen this way?
4. What will we do to adapt and refine for an improved outcome?

It is typically conducted after a major project or action to assess the performance of an individual or team and make adjustments necessary in advance of the next one.

While managers and employees can certainly benefit from engaging in a formal AAR in a professional setting, I find the AAR to be a useful template for informal, on-the-fly process improvements.

A few examples:

After a difficult conversation with a partner or friend. Why didn't that go as I intended? What changes can I make next time?

After a race or competition. Why didn't that go as well as I had hoped? What changes can I make to my training plan next time?

After a meeting with a new mentor. Why didn't that prove as fruitful as I hoped? What changes can I make next time?

I like the framework because it puts an emphasis on my actions—the things I can control—rather than wasting energy worrying about that external factors that I cannot.

I typically just run through the questions in my head, but you can write them down if you'd like.

Give it a shot coming out of your next project or personal event and let me know what you think.

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Half Marathon: 1:21:40

- New PR
- Average Pace 6:13
- Finished 7th out of 450

Hilly course on a brisk 25 degree morning—happy with the result!

Let’s go! 🚀🔥

This movie quote completely changed my life...

(and may change yours)

“A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it.“

If you convince yourself that your satisfaction is contingent upon the next achievement or milestone, you'll never find it.

Real satisfaction and happiness is an inside job: Find it on the journey—or you won't find it at all.

Remember: If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it...

This carousel is an excerpt from my NYT bestselling book, The 5 Types of Wealth. Join 250,000+ others and get the book today (on a 50% sale!).

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Rule: Be interested in everyone you encounter.

Every conversation with a stranger is a chance to learn something new.

Stop trying to be INTERESTING and focus on being INTERESTED.

Be present in every conversation with everyone you meet.

You never know what you might learn.

Every time I travel, I buy a stuffed animal for my young son inspired by the location I visited.

I’m a big fan of tiny rituals like this.

Sure it may lead to a lot of “stuff” around the house, but it will also lead to a lot of conversations and memories with him as he gets older.

The ritual means he will always know why I was traveling, where I went, and most importantly, that I was thinking about him.

I deeply believe in finding a way to include your children in the professional journey.

My dad did this for me—and I fully intend to do this for my son.

With that in mind…welcome to the family, Melvin the Montana Moose.

Two big mistakes in life:

1. Worrying about what other people think about you.

2. Believing that other people think about you in the first place.

Harsh Truth: Most people don’t really care about you.

The Spotlight Effect says that we overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing or observing our actions.

This is liberating—stop worrying about what others think, be yourself, and live according to your values.

The 10 most dangerous lies we tell ourselves:

Lie: “This is just who I am“

Treating your identity, competencies, and personality as a constant is just a cop out. The Paradox of Change: The only constant in life is change. You are no exception—you are in a constant state of change. Adapt or die.

Lie: “When I get [X], then I'll be happy“

It's easy to convince yourself that your happiness is contingent upon external milestones. Money, promotions, fancy stuff. These “when, then“ traps are dangerous. These things won't make you happy. Real happiness is from within.

Lie: “I don't have time for [X]“

We all need to stop blaming time and giving our focus a free pass. Time is almost never the issue. We generally make time for the things we really care about. Most issues of time are really just issues of prioritization.

Lie: “I'm not capable of [X]“

Self-defeating language is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that you're not capable, you won't be. Maybe you're not capable today, but it's amazing what you can achieve with one year of discipline and focused effort.

Lie: “I know exactly what I'm doing“

No you don't. And that's ok! No one knows what they're doing—some are just better at faking it than others. Learn to tolerate uncertainty and develop a talent for figuring shit out on the fly.

Lie: “I'll do [X] later“

No you won't—you're just giving yourself a pass to continue procrastinating. The things we continuously push out are the things that never get done. Either do it now, delegate it to someone else who will, or remove it from your list entirely.

Lie: “Someone will be there to save me“

Sadly, there are going to be times in life when no one is there to save you. The friends you thought would show up for you don't...you're alone. When you find yourself at the bottom of a hole, stop digging and pull yourself out of it.

Lie: “They just got lucky“

This is an attempt to justify an unfavorable comparison. You blame luck for their success and your failure. Luck played a role, but that person probably worked for years in the dark to put themselves in a position to win. Did you?

Lie: “I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to do [X]“

There's no such thing as the perfect moment. If you wait for it to come, you're doomed. Deep down, we know that, but we hide behind it. Take the leap and trust in your ability to adapt.

Lie: “I'm too late to do [X]“

You're almost never too late to start on a journey. This is just a cheap excuse for laziness. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.“

***

Those are the 10 most dangerous lies we tell ourselves. The next time you catch yourself saying them, remember this!

What would you add to the list?

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One thing predicts where you'll be in 10 years…

(and it's completely in your control).

Your standards.

Every time you let something slide “just this once”, you train yourself to accept less.

That’s how goals erode. That’s how principles slip.

Set your standards. Hold the line. Especially when it’s hard.

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Harsh Truth: You’re not the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You converge to the lowest common denominator.

The fastest way to level up in life is to surround yourself with big thinkers who encourage you to dream and work towards your goals every single day.

Don’t let that one toxic influence pull you down to their level.

Tag the friends who are helping you level up every single day!

***

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Here's a fun one for you on a Sunday...

The Ikea Marriage Test:

Before you marry someone, go to IKEA together and a buy a piece of furniture.

Bring it home and build it.

If you can successfully navigate that entire process without wanting to kill each other, you’re ready to get married.

Most people assume this test is just about the building.

It’s much deeper than that:

• Find parking space
• Navigate absurd store maze
• Select furniture you agree on
• Find it in warehouse insanity
• Load it into car

Then get home to build it while hunger creeps in.

IKEA is a purpose built relationship minefield.

Just when you think you’ve made it out alive, they have an entire section of random shit you definitely don’t need but somehow deeply want.

“This massive photo of [insert city we’ve never been to] is perfect for the living room.”

And god forbid you arrive in Aisle 27 at Bin 412B and are about to grab your Äpplaryd Sectional and notice it’s the last one and another couple is about to grab it.

Place turns into Lord of the Flies REAL QUICK.

And for everyone asking: No, I haven’t been to an IKEA recently and I never intend to go to one again.

I’m not sure our relationship would survive it…

“All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.”

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Wisdom from my newsletter…

Join 800,000 others who get it 4x per week:

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed but that our power to do has increased.“ - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hard things don’t get easier, you get stronger. You grow. You change. You become different. And if you show up for long enough, somewhere along the way, you fall in love with the struggle. You find peace in chaos. True flow. That is the magic of life.

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This is an important lesson for life…

Your energy creates your reality:

Where you direct your energy, attention, and time will shape the world you experience.

Give your energy to stress, complaints, gossip, and negative people—and you’ll find yourself living in a world filled with tension and scarcity.

Give your energy to ambition, gratitude, learning, and those who lift you up—and you’ll find yourself in a world full of opportunity and abundance.

The math is simple: What you feed grows.

And yet, we often forget this in the chaos of everyday life. We leak energy into things that don’t matter. We give attention to people and problems that drain us. We spend hours stuck in thought loops that pull us away from who we want to become.

Eventually, your energy compounds—and it writes your story.

So choose wisely.

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This poem stopped me cold.

(you need to read this):

"In this short Life
That only lasts an hour
How much - how little - is
Within our power"

- Emily Dickinson

Four lines. Still hitting harder than any productivity guru's 300-page book.

Here's what Dickinson understood that we miss:

Life isn't just short—it's embarrassingly short. Even when you intellectually know this, you still waste Tuesday afternoons scrolling. You still put off the hard conversation. You still wait for "someday."

But hidden in those lines is the real wisdom: "How much - how little."

It's both. Always both.

You have more power than you think—to change careers, repair relationships, build something meaningful. But you have less power than you assume—over outcomes, other people's choices, the speed of change.

The magic happens when you accept both truths.

Stop trying to control what was never yours to control. Stop giving away power over what IS yours to command.

Your thoughts. Your effort. Your next decision. That's your kingdom. Everything else? Let it go.

Life is shorter and more fragile than you realize. But within your small sphere of control, you're more powerful than you've ever imagined.

The question isn't whether life is short. The question is: What are you doing with the power you actually have?

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I asked 1 million people for the best advice from their father…

10 pieces of advice everyone needs to hear:

What would you add to the list? What was the best advice you received from your father?

Happy Father’s Day!

Enjoy this? My NYT bestselling book has a chapter called “The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short” that explores the challenges of parenting and balancing your personal ambitions with your desire to be present with your kids.

300,000+ others are getting value from it.

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Same place, same photo, 31 years apart. Like Father like Son!